Evangelist Changing

This Hope - A New Church

2012-02-01T12:48:00.000Z

This Hope is the name of the church that is now beginning to meet, evolve and grow here in Newton Abbot.

The website will soon go live and I will share more on how things are going and what this group of people are getting up to week by week.

You can follow us on Twitter @thishopechurch.

It is really exciting!

Radio Show

2012-01-25T21:20:00.000Z

Here is the archive for the radio show I just did...

Barefoot Broadcast - Christianity and 2012

2012-01-25T16:27:00.000Z

I am speaking on an small radio show this evening about Christianity and 2012.

Go here to see the link.

There is obviously a lot of talk this year about 2012 and the end of the world etc. I'm going to share my own thoughts and ramblings about this tonight. Tune in if you want to...

The Church and Death

2012-01-25T11:39:00.002Z

Death

2012-01-20T16:22:00.001Z

I have had a couple of very insightful conversations today with people about death.

I think it is clear that we have no idea what to do with death.

Stanley Hauerwas uses the expression that we are 'death-deniers' here in the West. If we look at our politics, healthcare, education and lifestyle, death is a hidden and unspoken thing. Hauerwas says that we think we are going to get out of life alive. But we won't. We will die one day.

I remember going to a funeral with Grace and the person sitting next to me said to someone else that funerals were not for children.

We hide death from our children because we think it is bad for them to know about it. But they need to know, because death is all around us and one day they will see it for themselves. They need to be aware, ask questions and hear the TRUTH. Our attitude about death and children shows our inability to know how to handle death in out culture and our inability to know how to raise children in our culture.

Maybe it is because we are such consumers and we want other people to do everything for us; we want other people to sort out the death around us so we don't have to get our hands dirty.

Maybe our consumer attitude means that we want everything to be new and sparkling, and we know that death is a game changer, that nothing will be new and sparkling when our loved ones die, so we hide from it and pretend it will never happen. We keep people alive, trying to delay the inevitable, hoping that our loved ones will be made all new.

Death hurts, is painful and hard, but hiding it away is destroying us as a society.

Things need to change...

Capital Punishment 2

2012-01-18T13:21:00.001Z

On Monday evening I organised a discussion evening at my local pub on Capital Punishment.

I began by looking at two stories where someone's child had been murdered and the response of the parents after the trial and conviction of the murderer.

Jo Yeates' family regretted that the death penalty wasn't an option for Vincent Tabak.

Anthony Walker's family believed that with imprisonment justice had been done, and they forgive their son's killers.

Two of the guys from the church both shared for five minutes, one arguing for and one against CP.

We then had group discussion.

I must admit at being surprised by how many people were in favour of CP. I was more surprised by how many Christian's were in favour of CP.

It was argued that murder is such a heinous act that the only suitable justice is for the life of the murderer to be taken.

Some said that the cost to keep people in prison's is too high, so CP is a suitable alternative for murderer's.

Many other views were expressed in favour.

Those against CP spoke about how God alone has the right to give and take life.

Some argued that Britain's culture is not suited to CP and would be wrong in light of our understanding and approach to justice.

Some argued that punishment needs to be restorative not retributive, and CP is too final.

I am firmly against CP. Indeed I believe violence is not the way through which punishment and justice should be carried out. I suspect that I am heading towards becoming a pacifist.

Something of the cross-bearing, forgiving love, and dignity which Jesus’ life, death and resurrection, revealed to be the normative way to be human, must be the norm for all humans, whether they know it or not.

The goal of punishment must surely be reconciliation and forgiveness. The absence of hope or forgiveness can lead to devastating affects, both on the offender and within the society.

The end of punishment has been transformed by the cross and resurrection of Christ.

Justice depends on the practices of the people that embodies the hard-won wisdom of the past, tested by the challenges of today in the hope of a better future.

Jesus’ death is the death that ends all death. Justice has been found, won and restored at the cross, and so it is the belief that all justice finds its place at the cross. This one death is in order that humanity might travel to a better future where violence is no longer the means of punishment. It is a call to lay down our weapons and desire for violence, and to seek transformation of ourselves, our society and our world through self-giving love, forgiveness and sacrifice. Is that possible in a violent world? Well that’s down to us all isn’t it?

Capital Punishment

2012-01-16T17:46:00.000Z

Tonight's discussion evening. Should be interesting...

Driscoll on UK Church

2012-01-12T22:05:00.001Z

“Let’s just say this: right now, name for me the one young, good Bible teacher that is known across Great Britain. You don’t have one – that’s the problem. There are a bunch of cowards who aren’t telling the truth.”

I don't have much to say to this comment from Mark Driscoll other than that he continues to show with this comment his arrogance, lunacy and strangeness. It is a shame that someone with such a large audience can continue to speak so inadequately, especially in matters of church and faith, and especially about a context be clearly knows very little about.

Mystery and Problem

2012-01-12T10:45:00.002Z

Steve Holmes has written an interesting post on theology and the difference between mystery and problem.

He proposes that the most interesting theological questions are all mysteries and that we shouldn't expect answers. So a mystery can never be solved. There are ways we can explore the mystery, and in doing so think a bit clearer about it, but we will never have a final answer or a solution.

A problem has a final answer, and so the need to search for the answer is important and needed.

I like this because I think it is really important that when we are talking about God and exploring who He is, we must never think of Him as a problem to be solved, that somehow or other if we study hard enough, think for long enough or shout loud enough, we will have the God 'problem' sorted.

It is fascinating that in the 'new' atheism movement (which is running on empty now), and in areas of the Evangelical tradition of which I am a part, there has been this very error of turning God into a problem that needs an answer. To often I hear of sermons and books that turn theology into an exercise of question answering. It is this misguided belief that we can have all the answers and that mystery is wrong. Theology then often simply becomes anthropological (the study of humanity or ourselves) and completely misses the mark.

God is mystery.

Trinity is the language we use to faithfully name the God who has been revealed in the Gospel Story. Trinity helps us think a bit more clearly about who God is, but it is not an answer to a question or a solution to a problem. Indeed, when we begin to explore further who God is as Father, Son and Spirit, we are left with more questions and the mystery grows.

Christianity is not an 'answer', but an invitation into the life of God, to know Him and be known.

Sacrifice

2012-01-07T19:20:00.000Z

The Bible speaks of Jesus being the once and for all sacrifice who has taken away sin and made us holy.

The sacrifice of Jesus enables us to know God, to be friends with God, to walk in everlasting companionship with Him.

Jesus died once to take away the sins of the world. No more sacrifice is needed. And we would surly say that we no longer offer sacrifices for our sins. In ancient times sacrifices to appease an angry deity were common place, yet we have given up such foolish and superstitious ways, haven't we? And we certainly don't offer God sacrifices for our sin because we know that is something Jesus did once and for all with his own body.

Yet we still offer sacrifices.

We sacrifice privacy for our own entertainment. We sacrifice our children in war for our own security. We sacrifice rest so that we might work harder and be successful.

We make sacrifices believing that they are the only way to make up for the wrong we have done. We think that God will go easier on us, or our children will forgive us, or our partners won't walk out on us.

And then we make sacrifices to God believing that he should notice and credit us for them.

Jesus died once and for all for the sins of the world. There is no sacrifice but his that can take away your sin or my sin. Only his sacrifice enables forgiveness between one another, healing of broken relationships and redemption from our past.

His is the sacrifice that changes everything.

Yet sacrifice surrounds us so that we believe the lies that we need to sacrifice more, that Jesus' wasn't quite enough.

We sacrifice our very selves to money, fame, sex and power in order to 'get ahead', 'find our place'.

Maybe God will gives us the grace to cast off the lies and walk in the reality and truth that Jesus' sacrifice was the once and for all, total and supreme sacrifice that truly brings freedom.

River of Hope

2012-01-03T10:33:00.000Z

My soul glides upon the river of hope
Searching for the dawn to rise
Waiting for the warmth of its embrace
And the wonder of its everlasting call.

Moments of this hope is glimpsed
Ruptures in the fabric of today
Like sunlight breaking through stormy clouds
Bathing me and beckoning me forwards.

Darkness an decay however are never far away.
They lurk in the shadows
Watching
Waiting.

They sit in this river like dead tree stumps
Their withered branches reaching for the blackness
Like fingers of evil searching for its pray.

Yet the darkness will not consume me.

This river of hope carries me onwards towards the goal.

The Spirit urging me to work through the rapids
His Voice calling me to stillness in the calm.

And so we continue on this Way
Living for today
Hoping for tomorrow
Loving for eternity.

On Being A Pastor

2011-12-14T14:47:00.000Z

Being a pastor is not a job, it is a way of life.

'I can be hired to do a job, paid a fair wage if I do it, dismissed if I don't. But I can't be hired to be a pastor, for my primary responsibility is not to the people I serve but to the God I serve...In our present culture the sharp distinction between a job and a vocation is considerably blurred. How do I, as a pastor, prevent myself from thinking of my work as a job that I get paid for, a job that is assigned to me by my denomination, a job that I am expected to do to the satisfaction of my congregation? How do I stay attentive to and listening to the call that got me started in this way of life - not a call to make the church attractive and useful..., not a call to help people feel good about themselves and have a good life, not a call to use my considerable gifts and fulfil myself, but a call like Abraham's "to set out for a place...not knowing where he was going," a call to deny myself and take up my cross and follow Jesus, a call like Jonah's to "go at once to Nineveh, "a city he detested, a call like Paul's to "get up and enter the city and you will be told what to do"?

How do I keep the immediacy and authority of God's call in my ears when an entire culture, both secular and ecclesial, is giving me a job description? How do I keep the calling, the vocation, of pastor from being drowned out by job descriptions, gussied up in glossy challenges and visions and strategies, clamouring incessantly for my attention?' Eugene Peterson, The Pastor p 165

I am a pastor, a minister of the gospel.

I am not a business man.

I am not a strategist.

I am not called to be successful.

I am not called to be powerful.

I am not called to run a business, make money, plan strategies, do five point plans or be ambitious.

I am called to be pastor, a minister of the gospel. I am called to be a friend, a servant, a sign of love and voice of hope. I am called to love, care and support people. I am called to help the helpless and be a person of peace and justice. I am called to be person who puts relationship and people first.

I am called to love and worship God with all that I am and walk with Him in obedience, faithfulness and love. I am called to be a blessing in what He is already doing. I am called to share His Story through the life of the church, inviting people to become a part of the Great Story.

I am a pastor, a minister of the Gospel.

Junia Is Not Alone - A Book about woman leaders

2011-12-13T15:19:00.001Z

I have begun reading Junia Is Not Alone by Scot McKnight: Breaking our silence about women in the Bible and the church today.

It is excellent.

The book contests that woman in the Bible and throughout church history have been overlooked, neglected and left out of our retelling of the Grand Story.

Junia is a woman apostle who is mentioned in Romans 16:7, 'Greet Andronicus and Junia, my fellow Jews who have been in prison with me. They are outstanding among the apostles, and they were in Christ before I was.'

Now throughout church history woman have been told that they cannot be teachers within the church because that is a role that is exclusively for men. It is argued that apostles are only men. In the New Testament and early church apostles taught the Scriptures, planted churches, evangelised, discipled and were key to the life and growth of the early church. Many have argued that this was a male only office.

Junia was a woman. However somewhere in church history Junia was turned into JuniaS. Junias is a man's name. And so those who promote male only eldership and teaching have partly been arguing from Romans 16:7 believing that Junias was a correct translation. McKnight shows that it is a mistranslation and that the New Testament Greek shows it actually to be Junia and the early Greek speaking church fathers always translated Romans 16:7 as Junia, a woman. A woman apostle. A woman apostle who is outstanding among the apostles.

I haven't read it all but it seems that McKnight is calling the contemporary church to repent of its mistreatment of woman. Many churches today still do not think woman should teach in church or have the 'eldership' role or be Ministers or Bishops. This book goes a long way to debunking that notion and proving from the Bible, through not only Junia but many other notable woman, teaches that woman should be in these roles. If we are to be faithful to Scripture and the will of God, then woman MUST be in these roles. The church must wake up, repent and sort itself out so that woman are no longer silenced and ignored.

Not only that but we must encourage our daughters, sisters, granddaughters, mothers, grandmothers and woman throughout the church to lay hold of God's call in their lives and pursue it without hindrance. We must tell stories of the amazing woman of faith who have been silenced in church history. We must teach about those amazing woman in the Bible whom God used. We must readdress the balance and make sure woman are being encouraged, helped and supported to be the leaders that God has called them to be.

I'm looking forward to reading the rest of it.

Joseph, a man of faith

2011-12-01T16:58:00.000Z

At the beginning of this time of Advent, this time of waiting for the birth of Christ and looking forward to the return of the Crucified, Risen and Ascended Christ, I have been reflecting and reading the accounts of Jesus' birth in the gospels.

I have been especially struck by the role of Joseph in Matthew's Gospel.

This man seriously stepped up and acted with real integrity, godliness, faithfulness and honesty in what must have been extraordinarily difficult, confusing and scary circumstances.

It made me reflect on our own society and the how we today could learn so much from the character and behaviour of Joseph.

It made me think about how he didn't cry that he was a victim and throw out his dummy and walk away.

It made me think how he saw the need to be a man, not a boy, and act with honesty and integrity.

It made me think how he did what ever he could to protect Mary and Jesus, how went to great lengths to ensure their safety and to live within the will and heart of God.

I see in Joseph a man who put the needs and love of others ahead of himself.

I get concerned when society gets into the blame game and we always see ourselves as victims.

I get concerned when church lacks integrity and honesty and we don't speak truthfully and honestly about who we are and who God is.

I get concerned when church gets turned into a marketing machine, when woman are sidelined, when men won't grow up, when the gospel is not preached, when selfish desires are put ahead and above the community.

At the Christmas time the church and the community can learn much from the story of Joseph and his response to a terrifying, unique and history changing event. HIs story enables us to see what truth, honesty, authenticity and faithfulness looks like. We see love in action. And that is a valuable and needed truth to hold onto this Christmas time.

Diversity, disabilities and the church

2011-11-23T17:04:00.000Z

Having become a Christian within evangelical, British, charismatic Christianity there are a number of things that I have never been prepared for when the church is trying to navigate itself within the reality of modern life.

Before I was a Christian I encountered these things and simply got on with life, but once I had become a follower of Jesus these things were either pushed to one side and ignored, or a wholly inappropriate response was given to these events and realities.

An obvious one was sex. It continues to be something the church gets itself tangled in knots over. Before I was a Christian I had sex and didn't even think about it and the consequences. Once I committed my life to God I realised that I needed to be transformed in my attitude to woman and sex. Yet honesty, openness and good advise were lacking.

Another one was woman. Before I was a Christian woman were objects of desire and second class in my eyes. I became a Christian and encountered all kinds of mixed messages. I heard the church saying abusive things like woman are equals but couldn't be in leadership.

I saw the church practising bad attitudes saying woman could be in leadership but then were never preaching or obviously in leadership. So I wasn't sure what was going on.

And then there is people with disabilities.

You see in many evangelical charismatic churches there is the belief that God will physically heal. And I go with that belief having seen God physically heal people in the most remarkable ways.

Yet God does not always heal. And actually there are many instances where the word 'healing' is deeply unhelpful and wrong. Because some people do not need to be healed because they are who they are and don't need to be physically changed.

So when someone who cannot walk, talk or move their limbs comes into the life of the church we struggle to know what to do, think or say.

Yet without such people within the life of the church we miss out on the diversity of humanity and the insight into who God is through them. They reveal to us something new, challenging and beautiful about the Crucified God. And so the church needs people of all backgrounds and diversity in order that we can truly and fully be the church.

I hate churches where everyone looks the same. You have this homogenous looking group where people say the same thing, look the same and act the same.

Local church needs people of all ages. The older have wisdom, have seen it all before and are able to be a voice of beauty. The young have the enthusiasm, insight of modern culture and gifts that surprise us. All the ages in between bring something unique, special and needed. When we are lacking in a generation the local church will struggle and suffer because we do not have the beauty of diversity.

The local church also needs all kinds of different people from all kinds of backgrounds. We all bring something different and a perspective that reveals something fresh of who we are, what the world is like, and who God is.

I hope and pray we can all be involved in churches that have people who are so different to us that we all challenge each other, learn from each other and grow together in love for God and love for each other.

Modern Warfare

2011-11-16T08:34:00.000Z

The Modern Warfare games are the biggest selling computer games of all time.

MW3 set a new record for most copies of a game sold in the first 24 hours of its release.

People love the game.

Without doubt it has sold so many because people love it. They love the way the game looks, plays and makes them feel. So its popularity is in one sense very superficial. And the game developers have been able to make maximum gains by the way they have advertised it, making sure they get people to buy it.

But I think there are other reasons why it is so popular.

It taps into a part of western human psyche.

One part of that is violence.

We love violence in the West. It comes from a love of power, coercion and manipulation. Violence is the way we control. And we believe that violence is actually the only real way that we can deal with the problems of the world. We use terms like 'just war' and 'war on terror' and 'justice' to justify our violent nature in the West. We think that violence is the best way to deal with evil. Violence is not simply physical, it is also a mental and spiritual problem.

Films, tv and video games all use violence as the main way to deal with the bad guy.

This does worry me. The use of violence will quite simply bring more violence. And if our thinking is so filled with violence as the best way, then the road ahead looks bleak.

Another part that makes MW so popular is our desire to live forever.

We are numb to death and constantly fight to stay alive, almost as if we believe that death is not actually going to happen.

MW puts us in a fantasy world where we are in control of our lives and destiny. It puts us in power. It means that we could live forever. And all of this made possible through our imagination in a game.

We don't want to believe we will actually die, so games like MW helps us pursue and believe this.

We need to be a people of greater imagination. We need to live in the new reality that violence, power and immortality are not our truth and not our reality. We need to believe in alternative ways to live in this world.

As we approach Christmas we are confronted with a God who does not use violence to heal the world, but comes to the world in total vulnerability in order that he would transform it.

Are we willing to give up all our desire to violence and live a new reality?

Punishment

2011-11-07T14:23:00.001Z

Punishment.

It is a term Christians have lost the meaning to and have allowed society to dictate to sections of the Church what it means.

It seems that a lot of people understand punishment to be something to do with breaking the law.

You break the rules and you are punished.

Some within the church have argued this in regard to God and the death of Jesus.

You broke God's law and so deserve to be punished, but Jesus' death means that he took the punishment etc etc.

If punishment was about us breaking the law, then God would be under our control. Think about it. If God had to punish us for breaking the law, then we could control God. We could purposely break the law in order that God would have to punish us, thereby making us the ones who controlled what God did.

That can't be right...

So Christians need to think again about what punishment is and what that looks like within the life of the church.

To begin with punishment is not something done by God to us because we are 'rule breakers'.

It is not that we are not punished for our sins but that sin IS our punishment. Punishment therefore is always self-inflicted.

The church therefore needs to help the world see where their punishment stems from and help them move into a new reality.

Beginning thoughts of an ongoing reflection...

Remember 11.11

2011-11-01T10:18:00.000Z

I've seen a few of these comments flying around on the internet, much as they did last year:

'SENDING STAFF HOME FOR WEARING A POPPY! IF IT WASN'T FOR THE MEN AND WOMEN OUT THERE AND THE MEN AND WOMEN LOST, YOU WOULDN'T BE SITTING IN YOUR POXY SHOP. YOU'RE PURE DIRT. SET THIS AS YOUR STATUS IF YOU SUPPORT OUR TROOPS. WEAR YOUR POPPY WITH PRIDE!'

Over the next couple of weeks as we get closer to 11.11 these kind of messages will be all over Facebook.

There will be messages against shops for not allowing staff to wear a poppy. There will be messages against young people for lack of respect over memorial sites. There will be messages against Islamic extremists for burning poppies in the street.

I believe it is right to honour those who have given their lives in war. It is right to remember them and to show our respect to their memory, to show our respect to their loved ones, and to show our respect to those who are currently away fighting.
I have tried to explain to Grace about the two World Wars and give her an idea and understanding of Remembrance Day.

11.11 must be a day that we uphold and continue to be a part of.

Yet the more I think about it and study it, the more I am becoming a pacifist.

My concern however is that 11.11 will be made a mockery by US if we respond in hate and violence to those who do not care about 11.11 or who want to offend with their actions over 11.11.

The more that messages like the one above are shared on Facebook and the like, the more fear of the other and hatred of the other will be instilled in the hearts and the minds of society.

Trash like the Daily Mail will do its best to make you fearful and hateful of anyone who is not white and British, and 11.11 is always a time when they seek to do this to the extreme.

Do not allow yourself to be swept up in the propaganda in the media and social networking.

People will do things that offend you and the memory of others, but real strength and beauty lies in responding in love and forgiveness.

It is power and hate that leads to war, and when there is war we have always lost in some way. Those who have died in war I'm sure would have rather that there had never been war. We must do what we can to be a people of peace, looking for ways to be peaceful. If we allow hate to fill our hearts then war will happen, and 11.11 becomes pointless, because those who lost their lives fought for peace.

Surely the best, the very best we can do is to stretch out our hands in love and forgiveness, seeking to make enemies our friends and so avoid the spiral into destruction.

And surely those that lost their lives are urging us on to give ourselves in love and forgiveness so that what happened in the past will never happen again.

This 11.11 pray for those who offend you, seek peace with those who are filled with hate, love the loveless and be a sign of hope to the hopeless.

Death Penalty

2011-10-28T21:28:00.000+01:00

'For us it is with regret that capital punishment is not an option for his sentence.' Jo Yeates family.

Today Vincent Tabak was found guilty of the murder of Jo Yeates and was sentenced to at least twenty years in prison. Jo Yeates mother and father openly hope that during his time in prison his life will be made a living hell.

I have two daughters and the thought of them suffering and dying at the hands of someone like Tabak makes my blood run cold. It would destroy me. I cannot imagine how Jo Yeates' parents and family feel.

But I feel deeply uneasy when statements desiring the death penalty are made.

This desire will cause a constant dissatisfaction, will grow hatred within and will take the pain, suffering and hurt from the loss and grow it in your life becoming a soul destroying bitterness that will eat you alive.

The death penalty is not justice, it is vengeance.

I truly believe that God is the God of all justice and hope and that he will be God in every situation.

I write very cautiously as I have never experienced such crippling loss, but I believe that Jesus took the ultimate death so that humanity could one know freedom from death, suffering, hatred and sin.

I pray that the Yeates family might know the nearness of God and close support of great friends.

Move On

2011-10-26T09:36:00.000+01:00

The Bishop of Londa has urged the Occupy Movement to move on from St Paul's Cathedral.

The first mistake was to shut the cathedral.

The second was to moan that £20,000 a day was being lost.

The third was to urge that they move on.

Church and power destroys.

Church and expensive buildings can be a real problem.

Church and image looks really ugly.

Followers of Jesus living in the freedom of going wherever the Spirit blows, fighting injustice, standing with the poor, living in the moment, praying on the streets, breaking bread in the middle of our communities...
Now that is something to urge...

No Answers

2011-10-25T21:00:00.001+01:00

'When Christianity is assumed to be an "answer" that makes the world intelligible, it reflects an accommodated church committed to assuring Christians that the way things are is the way things have to be.' Hauerwas, Hannah's Child p 207

Christianity is not an 'answer'. All to often we can look at the world around and desire or even demand an answer to why things are the way they are. And so the church can all to easily roll out answers and platitudes as to why the world is the way that it is. Yet in doing so we deny the truth if the gospel that the way things are will not be the future reality. Not only that, but we try and makes things 'tidy' by having all the answers. And in doing so people become hurt and disillusioned because the truth is that life is not tidy.
Furthermore, we live in a world that wants answers, targets and goals. Yet the wind of the Spirit will blow where He pleases in ways we had never expected or imagined, blowing our thoughts and answers completely away. And we need to live like this as God's people because we have become too accommodated, trying to answer all the questions and aligning ourselves with those in power and manipulation.

God does not give us the answers, he gives us his Son. It is in knowing Jesus that we discover the Way to live, love and die in this world.

The Occupy Movement seeks to say to the world that the way things are are not the way things have to be, and I salute them for that. Things can be different. It would be good if the cathedral would grasp this and join the powerless.

The earthquake in Turkey has seen people giving of themselves in a bid to rescue those trapped. People have gone without food and sleep to do what they can in the midst of such pain and suffering.

Answers are not what is needed in both these situations, what is needed is people giving of themselves.

Answers will not do.

Dale Farm

2011-10-19T10:33:00.000+01:00

The news is covered with the eviction of those who live on Dale Farm.

For those who are unaware, Dale Farm is the largest travellers site in Britain and the police have been called in today to evict them from the site. This has been a long process that has been to court a number of times and now the council have the ruling to evict the residents from this site.

Without doubt, travellers invoke all kinds of feelings and emotions among people.

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding was a show aired fairly recently that a lot of people watched, such is the fascination and strong opinion on this community of people.

I heard some people speaking on the radio today who live in Basildon and there is clearly a long history of ill feeling, distrust and anger between both sides.

And the media are doing their best to whip this whole thing up.

However...

Those who live on Dale Farm are people.

It is a community with people of all ages.

Jesus called us to be a people of mercy, love and forgiveness. We are called to act in grace even when everything within us wants to act in another way.

And the people on Dale Farm need homes and places to live.

Could there not have been ways to have resolved this situation before it reached this point? I understand that there is a lot of pain and anger, but surely there is another way?

A lot of people keep speaking about living by the law and that they should be no different.

Sometimes we need to look past the letter of the law and see how this is impacting and affecting real people.

There is a history and a culture and a way of life going on here that is deeply entrenched. It is not a simple as moving people on.

We need the creativity of the Holy Spirit to help us here.

An Alternative

2011-10-13T10:36:00.000+01:00

Church Growth churches will probably be 'successful' for about fifteen years. After that they will probably struggle to know what next because they will be needing to re-create themselves. The other problem will be that the speed in which they have done things, the cultural similarities in which they have done them and the creation of a group of people who who look the same, may well result in unrest and something that looks other than church.

Let's talk about sex

2011-10-12T13:04:00.000+01:00

On Radio 5 Live this morning they were discussing sex education in schools and the problem's with teenage pregnancy, STD's and sexual activity among young people.

One of the problem's with the phone in was that there was an assumption that better sex education in school would combat the problems that are caused by young people having sex. Now I believe that schools should provide good sex education and help young people know their own body and treasure it as theirs. It is important that urban myths around sex are exposed and young people can learn the truth about sex and the dangers with having unprotected sex and having sex too young. But sex education in schools is just one of a whole number of things that needs to happen in order that the problem's with underage sex and young people having sex can be dealt with.

As a nation we need to learn about the value of relationships and commitment.

There is a breakdown in strong family life and so our young people see modelled multiple partners, family breakdown, sex as a recreational act and a lack of trust for another. No matter how many lessons are taught about sex, if it is not being modelled in their communities then nothing will change. Not only young people, but our communities need to see that there is another way that we can be in relationship.

We need to see how people trust and respect each other.

We need to see people putting the needs of another ahead of their own in order that both will flourish in that relationship.

We need to see people treating their own bodies with respect, understanding that their body is a gift from God.

We need to see people being authentic and transparent in relationships.

We need to see married people revealing the beauty of marriage and how in the good times and the bad times they stick together, learning through it all and loving unconditionally.

We need to see people not giving all of themselves away in such a hurry, but seeing that in waiting and learning to love each other will build a strong and beautiful base in their relationship.

Sex education is but one aspect in this complex and difficult time. We need to see a radical shift in the way relationships are viewed and how strong committed relationships between families, loved ones and friends can help change the problem of underage and inappropriate sex in the UK.

Reservoirs of Grief

2011-10-11T11:18:00.002+01:00

Our fathers have bailed...

2011-10-05T16:07:00.001+01:00

*WARNING* BAD LANGUAGE

I love this clip from Fight Club.

I love what it says and how it says it.

And it intrigues me how within our churches we can adopt the very essence of our culture believing that we are being counter-cultural.

'Our fathers were our models for God. If our father's bailed, what does that tell you about God? ... You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you.'

There is serious breakdown of relationships in our communities. And these breakdowns hurt.

I have heard from various people over the years that the loss of a father figure in their lives was a massive source of pain in their lives.

This loss of a father figure is one of the reasons people have got involved in gangs.

An absent God, who hates us is not the God of the Christian faith. Yet all too easily the church can share this kind of message. I think that is why I am so opposed to penal substitution because strip it down to its core we are left with an absent God who hates us. This is the message of our culture, not of the Christian faith. The Christian faith declares a God who has not bailed on us, that He is a Father who loves us, will never leave us and is there for us.

But then we get this quote,

'First you have to give up, first you have to know, not fear, know that someday you're gonna die.'

This is a great Christian truth! The church needs to preach this and embrace this as truth. We must not fear death, but know that death is inevitable. Our government and culture breed this lie that we will live forever. The policies are for self-preservation. The things we buy are advertised under the illusion of immortality. And so everyone fears death because we never face up to its reality.
And when the church talks about the Christian faith as another self-help, make your life better philosophy we buy into the cultures fear of death. When the church talks about the Christian faith being about 'what happens after you die' we are left with the same problem. We need to deal with the actual reality that we will die one-day, that death itself will be our reality.

Once we accept this reality we can begin to live and love out of control. We can surrender ourselves to the will and purposes of God knowing that He is in control and that we do not need to be. We can live in the reality of God's power and surrender our power to want to live forever, surrender our desire to control our destinies, surrender our will to have power, and give ourselves to God and His ways.

We can embrace our life and death knowing that they are not in our control and that One who is far more able to know us and what is best for us is on control.

Psalm 20 - My Version

2011-10-04T12:43:00.000+01:00

An artistic paraphrase of Psalm 20 that I've written:

When you are crying out in pain and despair,
may God answer and respond to you;
may you know protection from that Ancient God
who promises to be with you today.
Our prayer is that He will help you from a place of refuge
and support you from a place of freedom and promises.
Those sacrifices of tears?
The offering of your life to Him?
May they be prayers heard and answered.

My prayer is that the Godly longings of your heart,
the prayers for God's love and justice in the world,
will be realised and burst into life.

When they are, we will cheer and rave about it;
we'll post it on Facebook,
blog about it,
and share it with our friends when we're down the pub.

We're holding out that God will answer your prayers.

I'm sure that God rescues those whom
His loving arms are stretched out towards;
He answers their pleas from His place of beauty, peace and justice
with the power and love shown through his Son.

So many of us trust in our own might, power and influence;
our wealth, our possessions, our control, our ability to manipulate,
but we are called to another way;
we trust in God.
He's the One who has everything in control and knows what's right and best for us all.
So those power hungry, self-satisfying manipulators
will come crashing down from their places of influence.
And the humble and weak who trust in God
will find their feet and not be shaken from their place with God.

O God rescue us!
King of Kings, please hear us and answer our prayers!

Karma and Grace

2011-10-03T16:22:00.000+01:00

Grace.

It is a word lost in the chaos of our culture.

Grace - God's free and gratuitous love.

It cannot be earned, paid for, worked for or taken away.

Grace means that God freely gives of himself without expecting anything in return. Grace means that God loves us and gives gifts of life and love knowing fully well that we may never respond in love to him. Grace is that giving fully of oneself without any motive, reward or gain.

Grace is grace, there is no other concept in all of time or space.

Karma is not grace.

Cause and effect is not grace.

Reward and punishment is not grace.

All too often we expect karma; someone does something against you and you expect karma to come around and something bad will happen to them as a result. Or we do something good without reward, but expect karma to operate and somewhere down the line we will get our reward.

But grace is completely different.

So if someone speaks or acts in an evil way towards you, the response is grace; free, gratuitous love and forgiveness.
If you do a kind deed for another, do it not for reward, but because that person needed it. Your reward is knowing that someone has been given love and kindness.

The way of the universe is grace, not karma, because God is the source and sustainer of this universe.

God's response to the pain, suffering and evil of the world is the giving of Himself in Jesus; grace. This is not cause and effect, reward and punishment, but free and gratuitous love.

Grace is a beautiful and mysterious thing.

Make me rich

2011-09-29T11:12:00.001+01:00

Wow.

I don't trust this guy. But I think he is probably being honest. Amazing really that a trader has spoken so honestly about his desire to get richer and richer and that he doesn't care about anything other than making a lot of money.

I wonder if politicians will ever be that honest.

I do suspect that what this guy is saying could well happen and that we are entering into an unknown and never before seen time in our lives and the world economy. It is a time for people to join hands and help each other.

This is a time where the Church can be who they are called to be; a people of good news who enact and share the story of Jesus in the communities that they live in order that people would discover who they are truly called to be.

We are called to be in communion with God to discover our true selves and live in the hope of the Cross and Resurrection of Jesus, inviting people to come and share in a new community where God is known and can be known.

We are called to be a people of the Kingdom of God, seeking God to bring His Kingdom to earth, establishing another way to live and to love, seeking the good for all of God's good creation.

We are called to be a people who care for the poor, oppressed and downtrodden, seeking out the stranger and inviting them into a new community of peace and refuge.

We are called to a path of suffering, following the Way of Jesus and knowing him in his sufferings.

We are called to expose the idols of our time, declare what is evil and seek its destruction.

The god of money is exposed as an idol, yet path away from the worship of it and towards the worship of God is long, rocky and difficult.

Conservatism

2011-09-28T10:32:00.000+01:00

Conservative religious belief is an interesting phenomenon.

I have many friends who have conservative views on Scripture, church, the cross etc. Yet they hold onto their beliefs with a vulnerability and openness; a belief that we live with mystery. It is not this conservative religious belief that I mean.

It is the conservatism that seeks to unwittingly reinforce a cultural way of life that is indeed opposite to the nature of the Gospel and a calling to be a people of peace following the Prince of Peace.

And so we find churches become a group of like-minded volunteers from similar economic backgrounds jostling for position amongst all the other voluntary groups in the community.

The teaching that is given becomes a means to reinforce a cultural way of life and serves to make Christian theology all about 'what it can do for me.' Christian belief becomes inward looking, defined by my own desires and wants. We use the term 'making the gospel relevant' but end up with a humanistic message. It is the assumption that religion is about making me happy and fulfilling our desires. Yet since when do we know what we really need?

Christian faith therefore is defended, not because it is true, but because it reinforces a cultural way of life that people want to keep. And rather than being a people of peace who witness to the truth of God in Jesus, relying on nothing else than its witness, the 'truth' is sought through violence and coercion.

Conservatism therefore sees no problem with violence, power or coercion. It promotes the desire to control and be in control at all times. it seeks status and recognition and refuses to be wrong. And what we find is something that sits at odds with a faith the is defined in Jesus of Nazareth.

Liberalism holds up no better, but I'll reflect on that another time.

Jesus walks into a gay bar...

2011-09-26T10:26:00.000+01:00

'Andrew Marin - who has spent the last decade living in Boystown, Chicago's officially-designated neighbourhood for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) residents - works to try and bring Christians and gay people together in open conversation about sexuality and spirituality - and that includes running a large-scale meeting four times a year at Roscoe's, one of America's most famous gay bars...He says that the Marin Foundation simply wants to get gay people thinking about Christian spirituality in its broadest sense, without a disproportionate emphasis on sexual morality.

"What we try and do is help the person live the most faithful, God-honouring life that they can through their understanding of where God is leading them."'

I love this story.

I love how Andrew Marin has committed himself to real relationships with people.

I love how he refuses to give answers, how he refuses to put any one person in a box, how he refuses to define someone's spiritual journey based on their sexuality.

I love how seeks to help people live a life with God according to where God is leading them, not according to what their sexuality is.

I think this story highlights some beautiful things:

That beautiful place of vulnerability; giving yourself to others and allowing yourself to learn from them.

That sacred place of allowing questions to hang there without answers; allowing the mystery of God to transform you and bathe life in mystery.

That challenging place of otherness; going to the people and places where God has always been but where you were too ignorant, judgemental or afraid to go and finding love, joy and change in your own life by being there.

Thank God for people like Andrew Marin

True Knot

2011-09-21T15:56:00.000+01:00

When our second daughter Lizzie was born, we found that she had a true knot in her umbilical cord. What this means is that at some stage of the pregnancy Lizzie's movements inside the womb had resulted in her making a knot in her umbilical cord. The knot looked like a granny knot in a piece of rope.

I discovered later that when a baby has a true knot in their umbilical cord it raises the chance of the baby dying in the womb fourfold. The reason for this is that the knot can cut off or restrict blood supply to the baby.

We have no idea how long Lizzie had a knot in her cord. What we do know is that when she was born the knot in the cord was extremely tight.

Sarah had an extremely fast labour with Lizzie. Throughout the pregnancy Sarah suffered with severe pelvic, back and leg pain because of a condition called SPD. Such was the pain that Sarah could not even walk some days. We went to see the consultant who was not particularly helpful. Sarah's assigned mid-wife was also very unhelpful. Sarah asked her for help to get the labour going early, such as a sweep. She performed one at 38 weeks that didn't do anything and was reluctant to do another one until Sarah was 40 weeks pregnant. Through various circumstances out of our control we did not go and see Sarah's assigned mid-wife but another one for another check up at 38 weeks and 5 days. The mid-wife who we saw was really sympathetic to Sarah's physical problems and booked her in to be induced the next day, something the other mid-wife was not going to do. She then said that she would also perform another sweep to see if this did anything to help. This was at midday. By 1.30pm we were in the hospital. At 3.21pm Lizzie was born.

Interesting isn't it...

One course of action could have lead to a completely different outcome.

Our lives are in the balance. One decision can have life long consequences.

I'll have one more drink...I'll be ok to drive...

Let's have sex...I don't need a condom...

I'll tell them I love them tomorrow...

You don't need a sweep...

Our actions matter. Our decisions matter.

The two greatest commandments are to love God and to love each other. These are not merely spiritual niceties, but hugely significant ethical decisions and actions. The way in which we obey or disobey these commandments will have consequences that can stretch into eternity.

I find that something worth thinking about.

Lynne

2011-09-20T09:35:00.000+01:00

I had the privilege of taking the funeral of our friend Lynne on Friday. She was a wonderful woman full of dignity and grace. The church was full with people who brought with them their own memories of who Lynne was and the time they had spent with her. Tom has written his own reflections on the kind of woman Lynne was.

Funerals are a needed event. We need them in order that we might say good-bye well and be able to step into the next part of our lives. It is important that we commit ourselves and those who have died to God.

Here is the sermon that I shared at Lynne's funeral:

'We have heard stories and memories of Lynne, stories that have given us a glimpse into who she was and her life story. Each of us will bring our own memories and stories of our time with Lynne, and in the act of remembering we recognise how much we loved her. And it is because we loved her so much we find her death hurts us so much. It is like an icy wind blowing into our faces and we fear we might never find shelter.

The reality is that we live in a world of suffering and death. The Christian faith is not there to provide answers about suffering. God does give us answers to the problem of suffering, rather he gives us his Son.

In Jesus we discover a God who walks with us through our suffering. We discover a God who fully knows us and has fully known what it means to be human; the baby in need an vulnerability; the man experiencing trial and temptation; the friend who weeps at the loss of a loved one. And this same Jesus has walked through the valley of the shadow of death and has taken all its pain and brutality upon himself on the cross. He has walked the road of death for each one of us and has emerged from it in glorious resurrection so that we can be freed from the claws of death and one day know the joy of life and love in God's presence.

Until that day however we glimpse at that future reality and live in the tension of pain and joy today. The pain of suffering today, but the joy that this God, this Jesus, can be known today in relationship, can transform our today and give us hope for tomorrow. This is the God who seeks to walk in relationship with us, through our joys and our sorrows, giving us himself that we might know ourselves.

This Jesus holds his hands out today to offer you comfort.

Hands that wiped tears from his eyes at the death of his friend.
Hands that were nailed to a cross.
Hands that were raised in triumph at the resurrection.
And now hands that take hold of Lynne's hand, leading her into the presence of the living God.
Hands that seek to comfort you today, sheltering you from that icy wind.

Hands that seek to lead you and guide you throughout your life, that in the midst of your joy and your sorrow, you might know a God who loves you.'

God's Promise

2011-09-13T11:25:00.001+01:00

'At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?    He called a little child and had him stand among them.
    And he said: I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
    Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
    And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.'

On Sunday we had the privilege of seeing our youngest daughter go through a service of blessing.

My friend John conducted the blessing and it was truly special time with a clear sense of God's love and presence.

It was a sacramental act.

In other words, God promised to be there by his Spirit through this act of blessing. As we welcomed Lizzie in the name of Jesus, Jesus was present in a very real and tangible way.

John spoke about how in every child there is the presence of God, and so in the presence of children we truly encounter God's presence.

Sarah and I made promises:

Sarah and Joe, do you thank God for the gift of your child,and do you accept the joys and duties of parenthood?

Gladly, we do.

Do you promise to bring Lizzie upwithin the Christian community,and, by God’s grace, live in such a way and love each other in such a way,that she will be nurtured by Christian loveand surrounded by the life of Jesus?

As disciples of Jesus, we do.

Will you seek to be parents of peace, sharers of love and signs of hope to Lizzie? Will you be faithful in prayer for Lizzie, seeking to walk in the likeness of Jesus for the sake of your daughter?

With the help of God’s Spirit, we will.

Our eldest daughter Grace also made a promise:

Will you promise to loveand help care for Lizzie?

Yes!

We had it at Seale-Hayne. So we weren't in a 'church building' or anything like that. Rather, we were in a place of community where many different people from all walks of life meet week in week out. Church is the people. And it was truly church on Sunday.

Blessing

Lizzie, we rejoice, for you are God’s gift to us.
Grow strong in the knowledge and love of God;
we pray that one day
you will be a disciple of Jesus Christ,
following him through the waters of baptism
and in a life of faithful witness;
bear the fruit of his Spirit
and live his great gift of love.

Lizzie, the Lord bless you and keep you;
the Lord make his face to shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
the Lord lift the light of his countenance upon you
and give you peace,
this day and always.
In the name of God Almighty, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

A New Reality

2011-09-06T12:51:00.001+01:00

Jesus' life, death and resurrection jolts us out of self-deception into the reality of our own situation and the truth of who we are.

We are sinners.

I am a sinner.

You are a sinner.

We often rebel and protest this point because we see sin and sinners as 'the other', those who have broken the rules and the law in some brutal way. The murderer or rapist or rioter.

But sin is not about breaking rules or laws.

We are all sinners 'because we deceive ourselves about the nature of reality and so would crucify the very One who calls us to God's kingdom.'

We live as though we can be the authors of our own stories, as though we have the power to be the main players in the drama and story of humanity. We try to live as though we had no need for God and as if God's story has no place in our own stories.

Jesus came to shake us out of this deception and to reveal reality to us.

He told us that the most important thing to do in our lives was to love God. The next most important thing was to love others.

He told us we needed to repent.

He showed us our need to care for the poor, abused and outcast.

He revealed the horror of our desire for power and hunger to manipulate and control others.

And as he hung on the cross, taking our place, we realise what our place really is.

And so we understand who God is through narrative and the narrative of Jesus. And we see ourselves through this narrative and seek to become a part of this very story. In recognising that we are sinners seeking to rebel against this story, we are then able to see how the Author would like us to become a part of His Great Story.

We are merely characters created to be loyal to the One who created the stars, heavens and earth.

Jesus calls us into the truth of reality. Whether we are willing to participate in this reality and enter into a new story is another thing entirely.

The Day that Changed the World

2011-09-05T15:32:00.002+01:00

It is nearly 10 years since the atrocities of September 11th 2001.

I'm sure all of us can remember watching our television screens in disbelief and horror as events unfolded before our eyes.

Real questions of the human condition were asked. How can we do this to each other? What can stir such hate to be acted upon from one human being to another?

We grieved and mourned for those who had died and our thoughts and prayers went to those who had lost loved ones.

And in a few days time people will gather to remember those who died. Those who put their lives in danger to rescue others will be commemorated and praised. People from all over the world will take time to pray for peace, for love and that nothing like this will happen again. It was a horrendous event that we pray will indeed never happen again.

Many have said it was the day that changed the world.

But it wasn't.

There was a day in around A.D 33 that changed the world forever.

This day was the death of Jesus.

It is not simply a day that has been lost in the pages of history. It is not a day that is remembered but has no effect on today. It is a day that continues to transform and impact they very fibre of the universe.

It is a day that the full force of evil was felt.

It is a day that death unleashed its worst.

This is the day that changed the world forever.

The splintered wooden cross hanging on the back of Jesus continues to unsettle and disturb us this very day.

The pain and destruction of September 11th 2001 has been felt in all its fulness by Jesus on that day in A.D 33.

And it is only because of that day in A.D 33 that the events of September 11th 2001 can ever be healed and dealt with. We are to resist the evil that September 11th reveals.

Christians from all over the world are to continually remember the day that changed the world. We are called to cling to that splintered Cross of Jesus recognising that our own lives and destiny depends upon it. And we are to live as a people that sees, knows and experiences the truth and reality of that Day in A.D 33 upon this very day.

Death Denier

2011-08-31T11:15:00.000+01:00

We are death deniers.

We believe we will live forever, cloaked somehow in immortality through our own might and strength.

Policies come from our government that further this denial of death.

We fight a war in Iraq because we are afraid of death. And the horror of it all is that men and woman are dying on those bloodshed streets so that the powerful can try and live forever.

We are afraid of death so we murder others to protect ourselves.

There is no war against terror. It is a war against the terror of death.

It is not a war for peace, stability and reconciliation. It is a war for self-preservation.

We murder through war, through money, through greed.

We are afraid of death.

In the UK we are afraid of death.

But we haven't been created to live forever. We have come form the dust and shall return to the dust.

The death of Jesus enables us to embrace death because in Jesus death has lost its sting and power.

Death will come to us all, and all of us are equals. None of us have the power to overcome it or stop it. No amount of worldly power, wealth or intelligence can stop it.

There is only One who has the power over life and death.

He embraced death in order that we might have the hope of life.

But that life can only come through His death and our own death.

Death denier hand yourself over to the Life-Giver.

Living Without Answers

2011-08-30T11:02:00.000+01:00

As always at this time of the year I always feel like it is the beginning of the year again and time to refocus. It has been good to have time off in August, have time to study and slow down.

I think that the next twelve months will be demanding, exciting, challenging and a time of real learning. I'm petrified as to what the next year holds and my response to it. I'm feeling more inadequate and overwhelmed than ever. But then I'm a follower of Jesus and being comfortable and sure of myself would be a complete rejection of what it means to follow Jesus.

Over the past few weeks I've had a chance to read more than usual and reflect on what on earth I'm doing, believing and living.

I'm coming to see that I'm not really sure what I believe. And I'm starting to think that 'belief' doesn't really mean anything anyway. Faith and belief are two different things.

I think belief is another name for having all the answers. And having all the answers is another name for triumphalism. And triumphalism rots the soul.

The church is not called to have all the answers. It is not called to a place of triumphalism whereby we think we've got it all sorted. Because when the church acts like this it leaves no room for doubt, for pain, for suffering. And when someone dies, or suffers or experiences evil the only thing they can say is that God has failed them. Triumphalism makes God a failure.

That is why I am very wary of churches and movements that claim to have it all sorted. I'm very concerned when churches always expect you to be on a high. I've seen people in those churches suffer silently because they feel they are not able to express their fears, doubts and failures. I'm very wary of churches that claim to have the "answers".

'Such "answers" cannot but help turn Christianity into an explanation.' Hauerwas, Hannah's Child

Christianity is not an explanation.

Faith is living with questions and not having the answers. It is recognising there is pain and suffering and that the call of the Church is to follow Jesus in His own journey of pain and suffering.

When we try and answer the unanswerable we are saying that this is in fact the way the world has to be.

I'm not sure what church is going to look like here in Newton over the next year. I'm not sure what the adventure will turn out like. So much of me wants to know. So much of me wants to be in control, to be a success and to have it all mapped out. Yet God is calling me to another way. He is calling me to walk in faith. He is calling me to not seek success, but to walk the way of the Cross.

Programmes and events are a way of me having control and measuring my own success. God is calling me to another way. If there is a need, address it. Don't plan an event to address it, simply go and be a means of grace.

I need to live another way. I need to explore church another way.

The next twelve months may be interesting, and I pray to God that I will be faithful to what He is calling me to.

Entertain the Masses

2011-08-24T11:04:00.000+01:00

No Need For God

2011-08-23T17:46:00.000+01:00

'As we talked about in in my backyard, we concluded that the problem with most pastors and theologians was that the way they went about their business did not require the existence of God.'

Stanley Hauerwas, Hannah's Child p 194

Being Broken

2011-08-23T10:41:00.000+01:00

Something Beautiful

2011-08-22T16:12:00.000+01:00

Jesus is not a self-help guru whose goal is to make you feel better about yourself and make all your troubles disappear.

Jesus is not a brand that we are trying to sell, a product we are trying to market and put into your homes and life in order that you will have everything you ever dreamed of.

Jesus is not there to grant you your every wish, help you get rich and make you look good in your community.

Yet there is a danger that the church can basically make him out to be these very things.

Our culture feeds off quick fixes of self-help and 'make life better' brands. Consumerism, capitalism and materialism means that most of us will buy something to make us feel better. I know I do it. And advertisers and companies know this is how we feel and what we do. And deep down I'm sure we know that a new phone won't ultimately make life better, but we still buy it and advertisers know we will still buy it for that quick fix of feeling that we get when we hold this new gadget in our hands. And we know that the clothes and the perfume and the car will all get boring and old and lose their initial high, but we still get them so we can experience that initial high. And advertisers know that the feeling will wear off and we will go and buy a new car and some new clothes just to feel good again.

And we know all our problems won't go away when we buy it.

We know our depression won't be cured when we get it.

We know the unforgiveness, pain, brokenness and tears won't go away when we drive the car away.

Yet we keep doing it.

When we put Jesus in with all these things, as another means of 'making life better', then ultimately people won't be very interested because there are far sexier brands and products out there. And those that have brought into Jesus on this basis will probably lose interest fairly quickly because Jesus turns out to be a bit of a disappointment when he doesn't make your life a dream to live and all your problems don't vanish.

I blogged before about our drinking culture which sits into this whole thing. The quick fix of making life better.

Actually, all of this is about making life FEEL better. So we feel better for a short time.

And the church can fall into the trap of making Jesus into a product that makes you feel better.

But this is not why Jesus came and this is not what Christianity is all about.

Jesus came and lived among us, died for us and rose again so that WE COULD KNOW GOD.

Knowing God.

That is the point. That is the reason. This why we exist. This is the point of life.

So our drinking culture is probably so severe because we do not know God. And in not knowing God we struggle to know ourselves. And when we don't know ourselves, when we don't know the point of our lives and our own true identity, then we do what we can to make ourselves feel better. And so how we feel becomes the most important thing. I'm not saying feelings are not important, because they are.

Love, anger, pain, joy, sadness. Feelings matter.

But if we rely on self-help, quick fix, feel better, then we will never know ourselves and our true identity.

And if the Church falls into the trap of trying to sell Christianity as a self-help product to be a part of this whole self-help brand, then we will fail.

But if the Church declares that humanity is called to know God, then that is a good thing.

And when we recognise that knowing God is the most important thing in life then we will see that who we are is defined by knowing Him. And it is not to make life 'better', but rather gives meaning to life. In knowing God we will suffer. In knowing God we will have pain. In knowing God we will discover hope. In knowing God we will one day be fully known.

And that really is something beautiful.

Police, Riots and Moral Collapse

2011-08-17T10:12:00.000+01:00

There has been much said and discussed about the riots, and I haven't got much more to say really. Without doubt the riots represent a wider social problem that we are all a part of. Greed, selfishness, a desire to put 'me' first. I was talking to Tom yesterday and we reflected on that saying 'well as long as your happy...'. Sometimes parents say it to you, sometimes friends. And it is a ridiculous thing to say, and an example of the moral collapse, personal shortsightedness and selfish, ambitious desire that society bathes in.
'I slept with six woman this week and didn't use a condom.' Well as long as your happy.
'I burnt down a shop and stole 10 laptops.' Well, as long as your happy.
'I got so drunk that I ended up in a fight.' Well as long as your happy.

'I make money by exploiting others.' well...
'I use my power through my job to control and manipulate others.' Well...
'I am selfish.' Well...
'I am greedy.' Well...
'I am lazy.' Well...

So we have lost our moral direction because we do not see ourselves accountable to the One we are called to serve, follow, learn from and worship.

What we also have is lots and lots of people saying that strict punishments and tough policing is what we need. People want those involved in the riots to feel the harsh arm of the law. People want strong policing and view those involved in the riots as scum.

We need law and civil order. We need people to be held accountable for their actions. But we don't need knee jerk, moral judgement being made and ridiculous policing and sentencing.

Our police services (not forces, and note the difference) were founded and based on the service and consent model. So police are keepers of the peace working with the community to keep the peace. It is not an authoritarian approach or crime control approach that the US use, but it seems that is what people are asking for. The police are not there to be feared or obeyed, but they are accountable to the public, as the public is to them, that we might work together to make our communities beautiful places to live in. The rioters were wrong, but our calling as a society is for restorative justice not retributive justice. Not only that, but if the police are like a cooperate gang who simply want to charge people for breaking the rules, then we have lost altogether the point and purpose of our police service.

If police use the crime control model then I suspect communities will trust them less. And the less respectful police are to public and suspects, then the less likely people are to comply with the law.

But more and more this seems to be evaporating whereby the police are being given orders to be much more brutal and authoritarian. I saw only the other day on one of these police shows a man in a work van dragged out of his car by four police officers, pinned to the ground and a taser pointed at him. Why? Because he hadn't pulled his work van over at the exact moment he was asked. Did he speed off? No. Did he try and lose the police? No. Was he being threatening? No. Was the van stolen? No. He simply was a few hundred yards from his home and decided to pull up there.

But if society is calling for harsher sentencing and more brutal policing then they have to be prepared to accept that. To accept that you will get a prison sentence for a first time minimal offence. That you will get roughed up by the police, and they are allowed to do it. Because it is no good saying we want harsh sentences for rioters and not for ourselves. One size has to fit all.

So I am concerned by where this is all heading.

But then maybe I'm just paranoid...

Hi

2011-08-16T10:15:00.000+01:00

I haven't properly blogged for a while because of holidays and study. I'mstill to follow up my post about getting drunk and my personal thoughts about a way forward. I will blog about that soon. I also want to blog about the riots, specifically the governments response to the riots and the call by many for more brutal policing.

I'm on my study week at the moment and I am writing a novel that will explore the Christian faith. My hope is that it will be a book that anyone can read, especially those who have no concept or understanding of the Christian faith. I'm writing it in a novel form so that it will be a story that explores a man going on a journey of faith. I'm using my own life story as a basis and expanding it to make it, hopefully, readable and a good story.

Think I will put a chapter on here later in the week to get feedback and see what people think.

Shalom.

A Prayer

2011-08-09T12:28:00.002+01:00

Father God

Our televisions are filled with images of destruction, violence, robbery and pain. People are shocked, distressed, angry and bewildered.

We pray for peace.

For those who riot and steal, smash and intimidate, burn and hurt, Lord we pray your Spirit would transform as only you can.

For those who are angry, who seek revenge, who seek to hurt back, who seek to combat violence with violence, Lord we pray for peace, forgiveness and a sense of your everlasting love.

We pray for the public to be safe, for those who are helping to be protected. We pray for the police to be wise and the politicians to be honest, not seeking political gain but the wellbeing of communities.

Lord Jesus we pray that all of us would be aware of your grace and presence in our lives, but we pray especially that this would be true for those most immediately affected by these raw and real events.

We pray that darkness would not overcome, but the light of your love would prevail. We pray that we would not seek darkness to overcome darkness. We pray we would not seek violence to overcome violence. We pray we not seek bitterness to swallow our hearts. We pray we would not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good.

Many of us are angry Lord at what is happening. We believe in righteous anger at injustice. Help us use this anger properly to bring peace, reconciliation and restoration.

Lord Jesus as we look at our TV screens we feel helpless. So we recognise our need for you. Forgive us Lord when we have got so comfortable with all we have that we have forgotten you and seen no need for you. Forgive us Lord when we have rioted against your love and will for our lives. Help us Lord to know you. May knowing you be the goal for us all.

We pray for your grace, mercy and love O God.

And we pray in the mighty name of Jesus, the name at which every knee will bow.

Amen

Getting Drunk

2011-08-02T09:00:00.001+01:00

I have no idea how many mornings I used to wake up and have no clue as to how I got home or what I did the night before.

There was a point in my life that I was drunk every single day.

I was reflecting on one particular morning when I had a conversation with a stranger. This conversation was similar to many I had over the years. It was when I worked in a shop, and this guy came in to buy something. He came to the till, looked at me and then asked if I was ok. I said yes and asked why. He asked if I remembered him. I said no. He then told me that the night before he had seen me staggering past the pub he was in and then collapsing outside. He helped me up and then walked me towards my home. He said that he left me at the top of my road. I had woken up in the morning for work with no clue how I had got home or what I had done the night before. I still remember how I felt when this man was telling me the story. I still remember feeling sick as I listened and anxious. I still remember laughing and acting like it didn't matter. I still remember thinking that I needed a drink.

There would be countless more times when that kind of thing would happen again.

I heard that over a million people in the UK in 2010 were taken to hospital for alcohol related problems. I wonder how many who should have gone never did. Probably would have topped 2 million if they had.

We live in a time where people in the UK love getting drunk.

And it is causing huge problems in people's lives.

Depression. STD's. Debt. Relationship breakdowns. Affairs. Illness. Strain on hospitals. Violence. Tears.

I'm not anti alcohol. I'm tee total but I am more than happy to sit with people while they have a drink.

But alcohol is a massive problem in the UK and government have no idea what to do about it.

And with the rise of individualism people feel like it doesn't matter if they get drunk because they think it only affects them. Yet it is clear that this is not true.

Consumerism makes us numb to what really matters in life and makes us crave for a quick fix of happiness. Alcohol helps provide that fix.

A belief that God is not really needed in our lives or society puts too much pressure on our relationships with each other, so alcohol provides the fantasy that we really love each other and can handle the pressure we are under to make each other happy.

The tears, breakdowns, fights and pain on an average night out in town tell a different story.

If in church we say that coming to Jesus makes everything ok, then people will always go to alcohol.

Jesus is not a self-help product to a better way of life.

I suspect the answer to the issue of massive alcohol abuse in the UK lies in what the Gospel and Christianity is really all about. And I'll pick that up tomorrow.

Our Debt

2011-07-28T09:46:00.002+01:00

I'm wondering if anyone can help me answer a question?

So the United Kingdom is in debt.

The government is raising taxes and will be cutting public spending to reel in the debt and pay it off.

Apparently 'we' owe about £1 trillion or something like that.

So all of us...many of us are paying this money back through tax raises etc.

The banks were in trouble so we bailed them out.

So my question is...

Who do we owe this money to?

Who exactly are we paying this money back to?

It can't be a human free organisation or company because there has to be someone at the end of the line. There is always a person somewhere down the line.

So who is this person or people that we owe all this money to?

If it is the banks then why did we bail them out?

If it is a person then who are they and how do they have so much money to lend?

As you can see I am no economist, but I am seriously troubled by this question.

Anyone care to help?

Honesty in Church

2011-07-25T13:43:00.000+01:00

I preached yesterday morning at a Baptist church who meet not far from where I live.

They were a nice bunch of people and I felt very welcomed.

After the service I had a number of people come up to me and thank me for my honesty in my preaching. They said it was refreshing. They also said it shook them out of their Sunday morning routine.

Honesty.

I find this interesting, especially in church.

When someone is honest, especially when preaching or leading worship, people are almost amazed. It shakes people in their seats. They are not sure what to do with honesty.

I don't try and be controversial or provocative when I preach (well maybe sometimes I do! ;0)), I simply try and be honest. Yet it often seems that people are not prepared for such honesty and find it something completely alien when confronted with such honesty in the church.

Some people react very positively when they hear honesty within the church, and some...well they don't like it.

Sometimes we try all sorts of ways to not be honest because we feel like we can't.

Sometimes it is the curse of the smile; feeling like you have to smile when inside you are hurting and darkness is your only friend.

Sometimes it is because you do not feel there is anyone you can be yourself with, so you put on a show, pretend you're ok and shuffle out of church before anyone notices you.

I think it is important to be honest, to be yourself and to live authentically.

I wonder how liberated many would feel if they knew they could be completely honest in church.

I'm hurting.

I don't believe in God anymore.

I'm so happy.

I'm gay.

I'm depressed.

I haven't prayed for months.

I'm so excited.

I'm pregnant.

Be great wouldn't it...

A Dinner Party Meme

2011-07-21T15:47:00.002+01:00

Sam has come up with a new meme based on a dinner party theme. Here are the rules.

Rules: You have to have 12 people including yourself. Of those there needs to be at least four men, at least four woman, at least four who are known to you personally and at least four who are "famous". You are not allowed anyone who has passed on to the great hereafter - that would be a rather different sort of party. It needs to be one that might plausibly 'work' (i.e don't just pile people together. You also need to choose a place/style of food.

Here is my party:

Myself
My wife Sarah
My twin bro Tom
My daughter Grace
My daughter Lizzie
Caroline Laver
John Colwell
Daniel Day Lewis
Brad Pitt
Damon Albarn
Gweneth Paltrow
Peter Kay

We would eat tapas because it is great for sharing and allows good conversations to flow.

I tag Tom, Rach and Peter

Turning 30

2011-07-20T12:51:00.000+01:00

So I've reached 30 years of age.

I love it.

I haven't been too reflective approaching this age. I've simply let it roll and embraced it.

My story is one of self-destruction and brokenness to transformation and healing. It is a story that I believe only makes sense because of who Jesus is and the story of God in all of human history. My story has no significance outside of God's great story.

So reaching 30 is a gift from God, a beautiful gift that I thank God for.

When I look back on my own story I see God's touch of love and compassion, healing and hope, chastisement and correction. I see that I am truly blessed.

I have above and beyond all I could ask for or imagine as I have reached this age.

I am married to a beautiful woman who has taught me how to love. When I met her I was selfish, proud, abusive and drunk. She has taught me to be generous to others, humble in life's circumstances, a servant and to seek being filled with the Spirit. There are times when I continue in selfish actions, self exaltation and hurtful ways, but by the grace and love of God these times are rare. She has shown me the beauty of relationship and the wonder of love. She is more precious to me than I could begin to describe. I am thankful to God that he continues to teach me what it means to be a husband. I need Him to teach me daily.

I have to beautiful daughters who daily give me a glimpse of God's heart. I still cannot believe I am a father. I love them. They are amazing. They teach me honesty, integrity and how to be authentic. They teach me about prayer and how to love God. They show me that every moment is precious and that we should try never to take any moment for granted. They are wonderful.

I have shared my entire life with my twin bro. One egg that split into two. Two babies that grew. Lives lived together for so many years. Lives still shared even though we live a few hundred miles from each other. We have a closeness and a connection that is hard to describe. We share similar thoughts and aspirations. We believe similar things. We are very different. We are uniquely ourselves and uniquely a twin. He teaches me how to be real, to tear off the mask and to live honestly.

I live in a house, I have food to eat, clothes to wear and water to drink. I can watch films, read books, look at the internet and use a phone. I have friends and family. I have more than I could ever want or need.

I am so aware of all those who have so little, who suffer and struggle. I wish that I was better at being more compassionate and more loving to my neighbour. I wish I had the balls to do more for those who are suffering and abused and oppressed. I wish I was less selfish. I wish I had the kind of heart that bled and longed for those who suffer.

I wish I loved God more. I want to be able to pray more. I want to be better at loving God. I want to be a man who takes seriously the call to love God with all that we are. I fail at this all too often. I wish I took seriously the call by Jesus to take up my cross and follow him. I need God to change me. I turn 30 far from being the man I need to be.

I belong to Jesus.

He dragged me from the depths and transformed my life. I turn 30 as a man who has been given life by God. I have experienced His love, grace and mercy. I am a new creation. I am forgiven and being forgiven. I am redeemed and being redeemed. I am saved and being saved. I am restored and being restored.

I am who I am because God is who God is. My identity lies in Him. All I am finds its goal and its purpose in Jesus.

Today is a good day. 30 is a good time.

Love Winning and Dark Knight Rising

2011-07-19T15:39:00.000+01:00

We were sitting the restaurant having some dinner when a waitress walked over to us. The first person she spoke to was Lizzie, my eight month old daughter. She stroked her hair and her cheek, smiled at her, held her hand and tickled her. She then picked her up, cuddled her and walked off with her.

Another evening I was standing with Grace when two ladies walked over and started talking to my four year old daughter Grace. They didn't even look at me but looked straight at Grace. They stroked her cheek, kissed her and cuddled her.

Another day a man walked over to Grace, knelt down smiling the biggest smile, and held Grace's hand. He asked her name, called her princess and stroked her cheek.

On another evening a man walked over to Lizzie when she was in her pushchair and smiled at her. Lizzie beamed back and her laughed out loud. His face was filled with joy as she smiled at him. He held her feet and stroked her hair, all the time smiling and laughing with so much joy written all over his face.

I asked Grace how she felt when people kept coming up to her and holding and kissing her, people that she had never met or seen before. She said it made her feel soft inside.

This was our experience of Turkey this year.

I think we have become too paranoid and too fearful in the UK. Much of that has to do with the evil media. And fear is the opposite to faith. We need to have more faith in our neighbour. Not everyone is a pedophile. There are many people out there who love and care for children. Children should be shown loads of love.

I found myself constantly filled with joy as I watched the joy that my children gave to complete strangers in Turkey. I loved how my girls smiled and laughed as they were showered in love and affection by complete strangers.

My children existed in Turkey. They were noticed and spoken to and attention was given to them. They were not ignored or dismissed or made to be like an adult. They were children. Treated like children and listened to like children.

And these moments were very special. Moments of heaven.

And speaking of heaven, I am so looking forward to this film!

A Warm Heart

2011-07-16T14:57:00.000+01:00

I have just returned from a beautiful week away in Turkey with my beautiful family.

I love Turkey. I love the people.

When I'm back in full swing I will write a post about their attitude and approach to children. I felt my heart strangely warmed many times.

While I was there I turned 30...seriously...I know I only look 24 but honestly I'm 30... ;0)

I will write a post too about turning 30 and what I have felt in approaching this beautiful age.

As I sat in the sun I watched my two daughters and beautiful wife swimming together in the pool. They swam and laughed together and looked the picture of everything that is good and right in this world. I watched and reflected on how good life is right now. I reflected on how blessed I am. I prayed to God that I would not get complacent or take these precious gifts of moments for granted.
As the sun beat down on my girls swimming in the water I prayed that the radiance of the Son of God would wash over them like a river and drench them in His love.

My heart has felt very warm this week.

Forgiveness

2011-07-07T14:18:00.000+01:00

Forgiveness seems to be a strange and difficult concept so often in the world in which we live.

Destruction, revenge, and 'pay back' seem to be the order of things and the way culture often understands 'justice' and 'putting things right'.

Forgiveness is tough and difficult. Forgiveness is costly. When I forgive someone who wrongs me, it costs me something. It costs me something because it is tough. I feel wounded by someone, yet in forgiving them I am able to begin the healing process. It hurts, but the pain is like an antiseptic beginning the process of restoration.

Unforgiveness is like a wound that is torn open day after day with no desire or chance for healing.

Revenge is seen to be the best option.

I remember when Sarah and I were first together. We had been asked to baby-sit for a friend and so we went one evening to their terraced house to look after their young baby for the evening. The front door opened directly into the front room where the TV and sofa was, and Sarah and I were sitting watching TV when there was a knock on the front door.
I got up, opened the door, and there before me were three men in balaclavas. They charged at the door. Sarah screamed and ran upstairs to the baby. I tried closing the door while they were pushing at it, and then all of a sudden the door slammed shut.
I ran upstairs and Sarah was sitting with the baby, who was still fast asleep. Sarah was shaking and distraught.
A few days later I found myself filled with rage over what had happened. I found out that an armed robbery had taken place in the town and these men who had come round to the house were part of that group. They had used the house as a distraction so the police would come to the house while they were robbing.
I felt really angry that fellow human beings could cause so much distress to others. I was angry with them by the way they had upset Sarah so much. Revenge would have gone down a treat.

Then God spoke into my life. I was reminded of God's love and forgiveness lavished out upon us. I reflected on Jesus hanging in the Cross to bring love and forgiveness. I thought about how God will seek to forgive and forgive and forgive even though we often reject him and hurt each other. I felt God speak powerfully into my life telling me I needed to forgive these guys.

So I asked God to help me. I asked to have the strength to forgive them the way in Jesus I had been forgiven by God. I found myself one day praying for these guys, asking God to pour out his love into their lives. I realised at this point I no longer despised them, but that I actually wanted them to know love and forgiveness.

There are people who have been through MUCH harder stuff than that who have forgiven and found freedom and liberation in that act of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It is something we need to grasp hold of in our society. It is something that will transform our communities if we would but seek to be a forgiving people.

Revenge will never lead to justice or peace. Unforgiveness tears families apart and destroys lives with bitterness and hate.

Forgiveness will lead us into peace and transformation. Forgiveness will lead us into the very presence of God.

As Jesus was being nailed to the Cross he called out 'Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.' Forgiveness helps clear the mist from our eyes and enables us to see what life is really all about. It is the road to a better future.

Because it is always better to give and to give forgiveness.

The Dawn is on its Way

2011-07-06T10:36:00.000+01:00

'There is a verse in the bible where Jesus says,'I am the bright Morning Star'.

Now the Morning Star appears in the sky when the night has reached its darkest point. When it appears you know that the dawn is on its way, that the night is at its darkest and the light is coming.

There are times in our lives where we feel that the darkness of pain and suffering, fear and difficulty are surrounding us and closing in all around. This darkness can be self afflicted, given by us or given to us, but whatever the reason, it's tough. We can look at the world around us and wonder if the darkness has overcome.

Yet Jesus speaks into this darkness by declaring that He is the bright Morning Star and that the Dawn is on its way.

As we celebrate here together, we reflect and remember lives lived together,

as well as look hopefully and expectedly on lives to be lived.

Mum and Dad are celebrating 40 years of marriage. We look back with them on the journey they have taken together and we join with them in the memories and the joys.

It is a past that reflects the kaleidoscope of colours that our lives can be. Joy and sorrow, hope and despair, pain and healing. The true beauty of celebration finds itself fully aware and honest of all that has gone on before. Our past has shaped who we are today and we celebrate because we are able to embrace today, because we are still in this together, because God has not left us.

We celebrate because your story is one of perseverance and endurance, of togetherness today, of love enduring; your story reflects the very nature of God.

And it is in the reality of the past 40 years that bring meaning and significance to today, as well as hope and joy into tomorrow. For the journey continues with a path laid out for them and for us all, a path that calls us to embrace yesterday, to make today significant and live with hope for tomorrow.

We join with Bram and Tracy in celebrating with them the gift of children. Parenthood is a deep responsibility given to us by God. It is a calling to be faithful, hopeful and full of love for our children that they may be given the best start to their lives. As we look at these young lives we are excited by the possibilities and mystery that lay before them.

When we consider that Paige is just 13 years old we reflect that 13 years is a mere heartbeat in all of human history. But our prayer is that her heart would be filled with love from others and for others so that in your life you may bring love to the people you meet.

5 years is but a blink of an eye in the course of humanity, but our prayer is that Cameron may see the world with wisdom and compassion and bring tears of joy to the people he meets and the communities he is a part of.

8 months is but a whisper in the history of the human race, but our prayer is that Nate will speak words of life and love enabling others to shout for joy and sing in celebration as he lives and grows in this world.

Our hopes and dreams for Mum and Dad, for Bram, Tracy and the children, for each other, can be held deep in our hearts because Jesus is the bright Morning Star.

His life, death and resurrection has ushered in a new day for all of creation and a promise that one day God will wipe every tear from our eyes and where everything will be made new. God will bring in a new creation where light, love and peace will cover the earth. This is the the new dawn that is on its way. We live in this tension where we see darkness and light, yet today has meaning and hope, where there is real love and light shining through.

Our past shapes who we are today. Our today is significant and to be embraced. Our every tomorrow can be filled with hope. The night is darkest just before the dawn, but Jesus declares that the dawn is on its way.'

2011-07-05T09:00:00.003+01:00

My twin bro was on TV yesterday.

ITV recorded 10 Mile Menu recently and Tom was on the most recent episode. He comes across really well on camera! :0)He is on about 8 minutes into the programme.

Go here to watch the show.

You can watch on the show and hear how long my family have been in the oyster industry. It is a trade that will always be close to my heart. I hope that government won't make the trade an impossibility but will honour the wisdom, hard work and beauty that occupations like that of my Father's offers to our society.

Memory

2011-07-04T12:43:00.000+01:00

I have heard it said many a time 'Forget the past, look to the future', or 'The past doesn't matter, what is important is today' or 'The past should be left in the past otherwise it will ruin tomorrow'.

Around New Year people get very nostalgic about the past, usually in a negative way, and vow that this year will be a better year.

Time and again, day after day, people have a bad day and then speak about the past in a very negative way, trying to distance themselves from it and be identified in a way that forgets the past and only looks to the future.

I have serious problems with this.

I wonder if our identity is best understood in terms of memory.

Is not our entire life and existence all a memory?

When you read this sentence, every single moment you read it turns into a memory. The reading of this sentence has now become a memory.

Every moment of my life is a memory, some forgotten, some remembered, but all of it a memory. But it is this memory that defines who I am with every heartbeat. My identity is a memory.

What do I mean by all this? Well I'm not 100% sure, but let me see if I can make a bit more sense of it.

When something good, bad or indifferent happens in our lives, these moments and events are played out before our very eyes, felt by our very souls and lived, survived or simply existed through. These life journeys obviously impact us in various ways because of their very real pain, joy or indifference.

As we live through these events, even when we are in the midst of them, they are continually becoming a memory. That is not a bad thing but a reality.

When I hold Sarah in my arms and tell her that I love her, that moment becomes a memory. The beginning of the hug is a memory, the words 'I love you' are a memory, the warmth of the embrace a memory, even as we still hold each other. But it is the memory that makes the moment even more special because it is the memory of the moment of embrace that gives you the desire to continue the embrace. Every beautiful moment shared between us may not be remembered, but it is the memory of our lives lived and love shared that compels us to desire to make tomorrow another part of that beautiful memory.

When something painful happens it forms another part of our memory. As the painful event continues to unfold the view of tomorrow's pain is shaped by the memory of the last second of pain. The pain of a moment will become a memory in a second, a year and ten years. And in each second, year and decade the memory shapes who we are. Whatever we remember or forget about the pain, the memory defines our identity. But the memory of that pain does not need to define us negatively. But rather help us understand the beautiful parts to memory even better.

So you can't forget about the past and say that the past doesn't matter, because very single second is a memory, and you are being defined by your memory.

God says to Moses that he is the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. These three guys had died when Moses was alive. But God had made a promise to these guys that he would be their God for all of time and that the descendants of these guys would never be forgotten by God. The memory of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob mattered to Moses and who Moses was and what he would do with his life. The memory of these guys mattered to God because God had made promises to them that would count long after they died.

Memory matters.

Memory matters not only for our lives, but for the lives of our children and our children's children.

So who you are and your identity is defined by memory.

What if your memory involved God? What if you got involved with the promises God had made to humanity through Jesus? What if the promises of Jesus became your promises? And what if those promises were a part of your memory?

The thing with God's promises and memory is that God does not 'remember' like we remember. So when I make a promise I make it in light of what is happening at that moment and in the past with a hope for the future, but still an unseen future. God makes a promise FULLY aware of what that promise will mean into the future. So when God 'remembers' you it is something deep, secure and beyond imagination. God's memory of you can be something that leads you into a bright and beautiful future.

You can be shaped by God's memory.

I'm not sure if any of this makes any sense! I've rambled in my writing today. Maybe some of you can help make sense of this...

A Servant

2011-06-30T14:07:00.001+01:00

'If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favour: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn't claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honoured him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honour of God the Father.'

Paul the Apostle writing to the church in Philippi

I'm Tired

2011-06-29T11:24:00.002+01:00

'Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.' Jesus in Matthew's Gospel

I feel really tired today. I've felt really tired for a few weeks now.

You know when you're tired in your whole being. The physical tiredness is linked to being mentally and spiritually tired.

I'm not unhappy. I feel a bit frustrated, namely with myself for not being able to do and be all I want to do and be. Frustrated, yes, unhappy, no.

I knew that church planting would be hard work. I knew that it would be liberating, exciting and amazing. But I also knew it would be hard work. And that's ok. It is meant to be hard work. That is the nature of Christian ministry. Whether the church is growing by 100 a week or 1 a year, it is hard work.

So I'm not unhappy. I am encouraged and excited by all that is happening. I have a beautiful family who fill me with love and joy every day. I can see a church beginning to grow.

But I am tired. So time to rest. Time to have a holiday. Time to recharge. Looking forward to my holiday next week.

Time to learn once again the unforced rhythms of grace that Jesus seeks to teach us. Time to rest with Him and learn from Him about what it means to live and love in relationship with God. Time to remove anything from my life that is ill-fitting and wearing me out and allow God to put upon me that which is right and freeing. Time to keep company with Jesus and remember my first love.

Time to enjoy time resting with God.

Free of Charge

2011-06-28T12:31:00.001+01:00

I am currently reading 'Free of Charge - Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace' by Miroslav Volf.

What a great book and what a great thinker and writer.

He begins by writing about adoption and how he had always struggled with parents who gave their children up for adoption. He felt like they were abandoning their children and failing in the most proper duty of a parent, namely to love no matter what.

Then everything changed.

He and his wife tried for 9 years to have a baby. They tried everything and nothing worked. They cried out to God for a baby, yet their prayers were not answered. He decided that God was disappointing, puzzling and simply an observer.

But then they were given the opportunity to adopt.

He recounts of when he and his wife are picking up their son. He is three months old and the boy's birth mother and sister are in the room holding this little baby one last time. They are crying. Crying because they love him and will miss him. Crying because they have joy knowing that this little boy is being given a new life that will enable him to flourish.

And in this very act of adoption, Miroslav realises that the love this birth mother has for this child is deep, selfless and remarkable. She loved him for his own sake, not seeking any selfish reward from her baby, but loved him so that she would rather suffer his absence yet know he is flourishing, rather than enjoy his presence and see him suffer.

Miroslav and his wife encounter God's answer to prayer.

The act of giving, without a desire to receive, is how we live truly fulfilled lives.

If we continue to trade, take and demand off others, then we will find ourselves bound in chains that will strangle us and rob us of any peace or joy, life or community.

To give in complete unconditional love is to enter into the very life and heartbeat of God. We become most who God desires us to be, most who he created us to be when we give in this way. We reflect the very nature of Jesus when we give like a river that flows into the sea.

Ambition, greed, fame, selfish desire can all be washed away in the beautiful act of giving. And just imagine what the world would be like if we gave and gave and gave...

A Conversation

2011-06-27T12:26:00.000+01:00

I met a couple of guys the other day and we got chatting about various different things.

Both very interesting and unique. Both with fascinating thoughts about life, faith and spirituality.

One of them believed in God. He believed in who Jesus was. He was passionate about Israel. He believed in a literal 6 day creation. He struggled with being a follower of Jesus. He believed in unconditional love. He believed that our actions today matter. He found faith to be hard work and believed he was far from God. He spoke about salvation. He spoke about running away from the army in South Africa and going to live in Israel. He shared about his love for chess and being beaten all the time. He spoke about fear. He spoke about how things can be much simpler if we would allow ourselves to be open to simplicity. He spoke about his struggle with life. He spoke about his journey.

The other guy believed Jesus was a spiritual master. He had explored loads of different spirituality's. He had dabbled in Roman Catholicism, astral projection, Buddhism, Mormonism, and many forms of meditation. He believed Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha and others were people who were 100% in touch with their spiritual selves and were models of how we should live. He pondered whether planets and galaxies were created for our spirits to roam when we die. He struggled with believing that Jesus is God and that salvation could be about what one particular group of people believed. He wondered what life was all about. He spoke about evil people and what is right and fair. He spoke about being open to other people's point of view. He spoke about challenging those points of view. He questioned religion's love of power. He questioned the motives of others. He spoke about his journey.

I shared that I believe in the Creator God who made all things out of nothing. I shared that I struggled as a follower of Jesus and that there were many times I felt far from God and faith a challenge. I shared how I believe unconditional love is the goal. I shared how today matters and our actions have eternal consequences. I shared how I believe that Jesus will make all things new and will heal all the brokenness and pain in the world. I shared how I believe we are more than simply spirits but that our bodies matter today and into eternity. I shared how I believe everything will find its goal and purpose in Jesus. I shared how if you want to know who God is and what God is like you need to look at Jesus. I shared how we can have hope for this day and our every tomorrow because of Jesus. I shared how little I know and how little we all know. I shared how there is so much mystery and we are only scratching the surface in terms of what we know and the amazing vastness of the universe. I shared about grace. I spoke about my journey.

We laughed and chatted, shock our heads at each other and spoke loudly as we agreed together. We shared life for a brief moment in time and found joy in sharing.

We shared our journeys with each other and in doing so, became a part of each others journey.

Charity Mate

2011-06-23T11:51:00.000+01:00

I keep hearing and reading in the news about foreign aid and the amount that the UK government give to overseas aid.

The government are coming under attack for the amount they give in foreign aid whilst deep cuts are happening here in the UK.

Journalists and the public are chanting that charity begins at home and asking why should people abroad get our money when we are suffering here?

What a load of rubbish.

We do not recognise the extent of our wealth.

Our wealth here in the UK is beyond our understanding. The luxury's we can afford is better than some kings had in history. The ability to go to the cinema and buy a bag of sweets and large drink (which I did last night) is a money luxury that many people could only dream of.

There are many around the world that spend 70% of their income of food. And that is not to live as kings, but simply to survive. There are many that do not have enough money to buy food to live.

The fact that most of us can afford to go on holiday somewhere, drive a car and watch a tv is an example of how rich we are.

So let us not talk with greed and selfishness and stupidity when we moan about giving to the poor in other countries. Let us also not be naive in recognising that so much foreign aid comes with strings attached from government to government and very often does nothing to help the plight of the poorest. Better to look for ways to give directly to those who are suffering if you can find a way to do that.

Please, let us stop this talk of charity beginning at home and recognise our responsibility to our fellow humanity living in utter poverty and pain all around the world. So much of the way we live and the things we buy out of our wealth harms and damages people, communities and environments in the poorest parts of the world. We need to be aware and to look to make changes and to give joyfully and generously.

Life and Death

2011-06-21T17:18:00.000+01:00

I haven't blogged as regular as usual because of various things in life happening.

On of those things was attending the funeral and thanksgiving service of a friend who died recently. It was the first funeral I have attended that was for a Christian. It was amazing.

He was an amazing man. I remember he gave me honest and Godly advise on a number of occasions, never pandering to my ego but telling me straight what I needed to hear. It was advise I will take with me to my own journey home to Jesus.

1 Corinthians 15 was read out and everyone applauded at the end of it being read out such was its power and relevance for this occasion.

Stories were told and memories shared that inspired, challenged and changed me.

Sarah and I were inspired and amazed at the strength, authenticity and love for God that his family showed throughout.

Sarah and I took our two daughters with us. We believe it is right for them to witness and experience the reality of life and death. I was sitting next to a man who was talking to a lady in front of him who said that it wasn't the occasion to bring children. We are all entitled to our opinion.

But I do believe we hide away from death and its reality. We sanitise and seek to put behind closed doors the truth and reality that people die. When in India our car pulled up next to truck that had a glass coffin on the back with a dead woman inside. Death is a real and seen as part of life in other countries. Does not make it any less painful, raw or stinging, but it does make it a reality.

We are not immortal.

Grace knows that our friend is with Jesus now. She knows he has died to be raised to a new life. She knows Jesus will return and death will no longer have ay power over us.

Where O death is your sting?
Where O death is your victory?

Thanks be to God because he gives us victory in Jesus!

We need to embrace the truth and reality of life and death, face up to the importance of today and how today matters. We must not hide ourselves from death but recognise that yes, it is painful, yes we do grieve and hurt at the loss of loved ones, and yes, Jesus can transform this day with hope for tomorrow.

'Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.' 1 Thessalonians 4

Vagabond and Tourist

2011-06-16T12:35:00.000+01:00

Are you a vagabond? Maybe you are a tourist?

Zygmunt Bauman uses these two expressions to describe modern day attitudes towards the world and cultures in which we live.

Both these metaphors describe and express a lifestyle of non-attachment and non-commitment.

The vagabond does not have goals, projects, plans or any idea where they might be going. When they arrive they are not sure how long they will stay, and once they set off on their journey again, they figure out their destination while they are on the journey.
The vagabond keeps moving because life is a disillusionment. All that they hope for and dream about never becomes a reality, and so they continue to travel, continue to move in the hope that the next place might fulfil their dreams of a better tomorrow and new day. Te reality is however they will never settle because they never really will ever commit.

The tourist is also a traveller. But whereas the vagabond has dreams that one day this may be the place in life for their dreams to become a reality, the tourist has no intention of staying.
The tourist enjoys the detachment from the place they have stopped. They have paid to be a tourist.
The tourist enjoys the freedom of being able to ignore local and native problems, of not getting their hands dirty. They are able to ignore the plight and the problems of the people around them. The tourist simply moves through other people's homes and places with no commitment to that place or those people. The tourist has paid to be apathetic and indifferent to what happens around them. They can always get the next plane home.

Both the vagabond and the tourist can keep a distance.

The call to follow Jesus is different. The option of being removed, unmoved and distant from the places they dwell is not an option. The places and communities in which they dwell may be tough, difficult, evil and painful, yet God has a heart and desire to transform and give these people and places a hope and a future.

The call to follow Jesus is not one of a tourist or vagabond. It is not a call to ignore the realities of the world around them. It is not a call to move when our own dreams do not become a reality. It is not a call to escape when things are too tough.
The call of Jesus is to commit oneself to the people and places in which you live. It is a call to live in such a way that people around us glimpse at the future that God has in store for us.
It is a call to fight evil in all its forms and to declare freedom for those living in darkness.

God is refashioning a new creation and a new day from within the shadows of this day. The agonies of today are the birth-pangs of a new creation. And we are called to be signs of hope, declarers of love and sharers of those birth-pangs within the communities we dwell as we wait expectedly for the realisation of God's new world.

Don't be a vagabond or a tourist. Be a follower of Jesus and let Him lead you deep into the reality of the communities you live in and into the lives of the people around you.

Divine Sorrow

2011-06-14T11:57:00.000+01:00

Tom Wright speaks about death and reflects on the recent death of his father.

Death is something that is being spoken about a lot in the media at the moment.

'Jesus wasn't just a glorified spiritual social worker.' In other words, Jesus came to do far more than simply heal some people, say loving and wise things and condemn the injustice in the world. Rather he came to confront the evil, sin, death and tyranny in the world head on and defeat it through his life, death and resurrection, in order that a new morning would one day come.

Death is painful, sad and so difficult. But Jesus has ushered in a new creation whereby death will not have the final word. So as followers of Jesus, when we grieve we can grieve as people with hope that death has not won. We grieve as people that believe that there is a new morning on its way. We grieve knowing that God grieves with us.

Divine sorrow and divine hope because of the Divine Life, Death and Resurrection.

Our True Selves

2011-06-13T14:45:00.000+01:00

The most significant and life-changing events in our lives usually occur in the times when we are at our most vulnerable, uncomfortable and far from our place of safety.

It is when we are in those situations that are most shocking and dramatic, that shake us out of our comfort zones and cut into the routine and pattern of our lives, that usher in a life changing way of being and change the possibilities around us forever.

It is in the company of strangers and the encounters with new people that can often be the times when we discover most about ourselves.

It is when we are in a strange new world, listening to foreign tongues, that we are most likely to hear the whisper of God's Spirit calling us to imagine once again, to be filled with hope anew, to see the world afresh and all that is possible if we would but dare to dream the dreams of God.

This strange new world and foreign tongues might be the slums in Kolkata or the rubbish dumps of Kenya. They equally might be the pub at the end of your road or the school in your own town. It could be the estate behind your church or the village in China. But it is in these places, away from where we are comfortable, a place where we are uncertain of ourselves, that we hear the voice of God.

The Way of Jesus is one where we are called out of comfort and self assurance, and into a place of vulnerability and dependance.

As soon as we are comfortable with our own success, achievements and status, then we have abandoned the Way of Jesus.

As soon as we believe that going to church on Sunday is the focus and goal of our week, then we have abandoned the Way of Jesus.

As soon as we think it is ok to ignore the dispossessed, poor and oppressed because it feels to uncomfortable to meet with them, because we would rather someone else met with them them, because we don't have time for them, then we have abandoned the Way of Jesus.

We are most open to the Spirit, most the people we were created to be, when we are at our most vulnerable and uncomfortable. And this is because we recognise that our strength, our dependance and our love all flows from God and finds its root in God. As soon as we place the emphasis on our success and our abilities we lose sight of our Creator and Sustainer.

When we are in a place of utter helplessness we discover our true selves, and that who we are and what we are about is found and revealed in Jesus because it is about who He is and what He is about.

My Brother's Novel

2011-06-10T12:00:00.003+01:00

My twin bro is writing a novel. Below is the first chapter. Go to his blog to read the next three. I hope someone notices it and he is able to get published. It is very good.

I'm writing a book. This is the first chapter. Let me know what you think. Peace. x

'It’s a weird sensation when you cut yourself. You know it’s a silly thing to do. You know people would freak out if they saw you doing it. The thing is, it feels so right. It physically manifests so much of what you emotionally cannot connect with. My brain is emotionally bleeding. I’m broken and bruised. I am worn down and weary. I am shattered like a mirror on the floor. I see myself as fractured and incoherent. Only able to catch a glimpse of myself in all the pieces. The darkness seeps in like ink in water. It slowly clouds over, taking away all the light.

My Intruder laughs at my despair.

So when I am cutting myself I can see the result of the mental anguish I feel. I deserve this pain. I deserve the scars and the blood to leave my body. I don’t want your pity. I don’t want your sympathy. I do this because I wish myself harm. I don’t wish for attention. If I did then I would call someone, I would announce on Facebook what I was doing. No, you won’t know I’m doing it. I will wear long sleeves and when will you see the cuts on my stomach? If you do see the marks, I can make excuses. I have a cat, he scratched me. Simple.

What, you think the darkness is just ‘in my mind’? Fuck you. Let me give you my Intruder for a day and then we’ll see how cynical you are. Let me give my Intruder the keys to your mind and we’ll see how long it takes before you want to wipe your life from this place we call Earth. My Intruder is a nasty beast. He delights in my despair. Televangelists would love to try and exorcise me.

The Intruder.

He points out the obviously true, but manages to put a little twist on it. Very subtle and very effective. The Intruder would be a brilliant spin doctor. I am small framed and thin. The Intruder would say, “Skinny.” He would also point out my past nickname of “Mowgli.” Subtle but effective you see. Suddenly I’m not simply thin, I am a skinny caricature who looks like that kid from The Jungle Book. Now my self-esteem is plummeting faster than a shooting star.

He reminds me each day of my failures. The jobs I didn’t get. The girls who rejected me. The friendships that failed. The loneliness it feels to be me. The life I wish for but never seem to achieve.

The Intruder.

Hi, my name’s Red and welcome to my seemingly eternal battle with The Intruder. He will tell you things, but please don’t believe him. He lies about lies. Yes he tells the truth too, but it’s a version of the truth. He’ll turn you against me, but please come back to me.

Walk this journey with me.'
© Tom Haward 2011

Darkness and Light

2011-06-09T17:08:00.001+01:00

As I continue to listen to this series of lectures by Stanley Hauerwas, I am continuing to be deeply challenged by what is being said and implied.

I believe the Christian community should be challenged in its understanding and approach to those with mental illness.

Humanity should be on a journey of discovery whereby we learn from each other and so enrich each others lives and be changed when we need to be.

What can those who are suffering from depression, anxiety and darkness teach us about what it means to be Christian? When darkness is your only companion, how does that shape us in our walk with God and what does that tell us about who God is? What can those with the darkness learn from those without it? And what can those without the darkness learn about God from those who are with it?

How limited is Christian discipleship?

Are there those who, because the darkness is indeed so very dark, will choose to never enter the Christian story, refusing to become a part of it and therefore reminding us the limits of any account of Christian discipleship, including our own.

Are there those for whom, because of the darkness, Jesus can never be the Light of the world, and therefore challenges us in how we understand church, community, salvation and following Jesus?

What are we willing to learn together in this journey of darkness and light?

Mental Illness - Hannah's Child

2011-06-08T09:54:00.002+01:00

I'm in the middle of listening to a series of story telling/lectures by Stanley Hauerwas about his life and being married to Anne who has bi-polar disorder.

It is moving, challenging, heart breaking, wonderful, painful and inspiring.

The lectures come from his new book 'Hannah's Child', so I have requested the book as a Father's Day present.

Mental illness continues to be something of great mystery and great pain.

There are many people blogging and writing about their own struggles and victories with depression, anxiety and darkness.

Regular readers of my blog will know that my twin brother has these struggles. I pray for him daily.

I sometimes wonder if those of us who have not experienced this kind of pain and darkness need to listen and learn from those who have. I wonder if I need to sometimes listen to the way the world looks through their eyes and learn from those whom I love.

Equally it is important to be a source of love and strength, and to help share the way you see the world through your own eyes.

Maybe that is so much of what this about, listening to one another. Correcting each other when we have become blind and unaware of what is really happening around us.

If you go here you will directed to where you can listen to the lectures by Stanley Hauerwas. They are deeply fascinating.

What I love about him is his honesty. He says that when you are a Christian you can be completely honest, because what have you got to lose. I like that. I believe in dialogue and listening and learning from each other from all walks of life and all backgrounds and beliefs. But I also believe that it is good to be honest about where you are at and what you believe. And sometimes the Jesus Way will mean that what you say in honesty and what you honestly believe will run completely counter to the way many others see it. But that's ok.

To all those whom I love, my prayer today is that if you are suffering with darkness today that it may be lifted. To those whom I don't know, my prayer is the same.

Shalom.

A Prayer

2011-06-07T19:26:00.000+01:00

A prayer:

I pray for the man I spoke to yesterday who was struggling with some kind of addiction. Help him Jesus to find hope and joy in You, in life and may he, through his struggles, find that you join him in his struggles.

I pray for the other man I spoke to a couple of weeks ago who was in a similar struggle. Help him Lord.

I thank you for the dad and his son I saw laughing together. Thank you Father God for the joy of being a parent and for the laughter and relationship that these two were sharing together.

Thank you for the little girl who came and stood next to me in the coffee, staring at my face. Thank you Lord that she reminded me that humanity shares a common bond and that you call us to stand together in love and peace. Thank you Lord for our children who remind us daily what it means to love you and love each other.

I pray for the woman who was talking about losing her licence because of drink driving.

I pray for the man who was speaking with such hatred in his heart for another. Heal and reconcile Lord.

Thank you God for the father and daughter who stopped and looked at a caterpillar crossing the pavement and who they smiled at each other as they shared this moment. Thank you God for your creation and how through it we can know joy and encounter your love.

I pray in Jesus name,

Amen.

Arrogant 'Messiah's'

2011-06-07T09:00:00.001+01:00

Tom Wright talks about what makes him angry and the arrogance that some display in their world-view and understanding of 'evil'.

Palestine

2011-06-06T09:00:00.001+01:00

I confess to be very uneducated and unaware of the pain and the problems that Palestinians face on a daily basis. My friend has just returned from a time in Palestine meeting with Palestinians and Palestinian Christians. His passion, pain and compassion has made me ever more determined to find out more and more about the reality of what is happening over there. I want to be challenged and jolted out of apathy.

People are being denied safety, justice, homes, medical help and freedom. When is that ever right or acceptable?

He shared this video on Facebook and I thought it was simply brilliant.

Ctrl.Alt.Shift Film Competition Winner: No Way Through from Ctrl.Alt.Shift on Vimeo.

Jesus Cares

2011-06-04T12:01:00.000+01:00

Family Celebrations

2011-06-03T11:18:00.002+01:00

On Monday evening family and friends celebrated my mum and dad's 40th wedding anniversary.

It was a great evening with lots of laughter, happy memories and reminiscing, good food and drink and a great time with well over 100 family and friends. Everyone had a really good night and I could tell that my mum and dad enjoyed the evening, were relaxed and appreciated the love and support many people have for them.

My Beautiful Girls on Monday evening

Tom has recently written about my mum and dad and how their history is etched on their skin. He printed this off and put it on a display board for people to read. Made my mum cry. And I know my dad found it moving. There were also photo's of their wedding day, photo's of us kids as we grew up, and other memories that were captured in photo or print.

As well as this celebration, my older brother and his wife wanted a blessing for their 3 children. So before we all ate, I led everyone through a service of blessing for the children. After the blessing I shared a short talk before I then got mum and dad to come to the front and I prayed for them both and then spoke a blessing over them both. It is times like these that I feel very privileged to do what I do.

Below is my talk. Before I spoke I was so aware that all the people who were there came from such varied walks of life, holding such diverse beliefs and understandings of life and faith. Some went to church, but many didn't.
I don't use notes when I speak, so below is roughly what I said on the evening.

'There is a verse in the bible where Jesus says,'I am the bright Morning Star'.

 Now the Morning Star appears in the sky when the night has reached its darkest point. When it appears you know that the dawn is on its way, that the night is at its darkest and the light is coming.

 There are times in our lives where we feel that the darkness of pain and suffering, fear and difficulty are surrounding us and closing in all around. This darkness can be self afflicted, given by us or given to us, but whatever the reason, it's tough. We can look at the world around us and wonder if the darkness has overcome.
Yet Jesus speaks into this darkness by declaring that He is the bright Morning Star and that the Dawn is on its way.

 As we celebrate here together, we reflect and remember lives lived together as well as look hopefully and expectedly on lives to be lived.

Mum and Dad are celebrating 40 years of marriage. We look back with them on the journey they have taken together and we join with them in the memories and the joys.

It is a past that reflects the kaleidoscope of colours that our lives can be. Joy and sorrow, hope and despair, pain and healing. The true beauty of celebration finds itself fully aware and honest of all that has gone on before. Our past has shaped who we are today and we celebrate because we are able to embrace today, because we are still in this together, because God has not left us.

We celebrate because your story is one of perseverance and endurance, of togetherness today, of love enduring; your story reflects the very nature of God.

And it is in the reality of the past 40 years that bring meaning and significance to today, as well as hope and joy into tomorrow. For the journey continues with a path laid out for them and for us all, a path that calls us to embrace yesterday, to make today significant and live with hope for tomorrow.

 We join with Bram and Tracy in celebrating with them the gift of children. Parenthood is a deep responsibility given to us by God. It is a calling to be faithful, hopeful and full of love for our children that they may be given the best start to their lives.

As we look at these young lives we are excited by the possibilities and mystery that lay before them.

When we consider that Paige is just 13 years old we reflect that 13 years is a mere heartbeat in all of human history. But our prayer is that her heart would be filled with love from others and for others so that in your life you may bring love to the people you meet.

5 years is but a blink of an eye in the course of humanity, but our prayer is that Cameron may see the world with wisdom and compassion and bring tears of joy to the people he meets and the communities he is a part of.

8 months is but a whisper in the history of the human race, but our prayer is that Nate will speak words of life and love enabling others to shout for joy and sing in celebration as he lives and grows in this world.

 Our hopes and dreams for Mum and Dad, for Bram, Tracy and the children, for each other, can be held deep in our hearts because Jesus is the bright Morning Star. His life, death and resurrection has ushered in a new day for all of creation and a promise that one day God will wipe every tear from our eyes and where everything will be made new. God will bring in a new creation where light, love and peace will cover the earth. This is the the new dawn that is on its way. We live in this tension where we see darkness and light, yet today has meaning and hope, where there is real love and light shining through.

 Our past shapes who we are today. Our today is significant and to be embraced. Our every tomorrow can be filled with hope.
The night is darkest just before the dawn, but Jesus declares that the dawn is on its way.'

Context Can Be Everything

2011-05-26T23:02:00.000+01:00

This is not my idea, I heard it somewhere else. I've slightly changed it, but hopefully you'll get where I'm going with it.

If you see a newspaper on a rubbish dump, you see it as rubbish; it belongs there and there is no need to do anything about it but leave it there.

If you see that same newspaper in the middle of a field where children run around and play, it is still rubbish but is now out of place and you feel the need to get rid of it.

Put that newspaper on a table in your home...
Now it is the mud on the newspaper that is the filth.

Jesus went to all kinds of different people, all with labels; leper, prostitute, tax collector, Pharisee.
People were either seen as 'clean' or 'unclean', accepted by God or unaccepted.
Jesus changed everything.

You can look at people and figure they deserve to be where they are.

You can look at people and demand they go somewhere else because they don't belong.

Or we can radically change the way we see each other. We can see that God sees things differently.

See context can be everything.

Change the context and suddenly everything changes with it.

Maybe we need to change the context in our relationships, churches and communities?

Maybe we need to look again?

Resurrection

2011-05-25T11:32:00.001+01:00

Resurrection has changed everything.

The resurrection of Jesus transformed the course of the whole cosmos, ushering in a new age, a new time, a new moment in history.

The resurrection of Jesus radically reshapes and renews everything broken, beaten and destroyed.

The resurrection of Jesus was not about someone dying and going to heaven, like a spirit floating off into the sky.

No, the resurrection of Jesus was about a mind blowing, outrageous, course-changing event whereby nothing will ever be the same again.

A broken, bloodied, crucified and dead Jesus lies in the darkness of the tomb.

Then resurrection!

This broken, bloodied, crucified, dead Jesus steps out of the tomb 3 days later, his body somehow transformed, changed and different. Nothing would ever be the same again, not humanity, not creation, not the cosmos. Nothing would be the same again because Jesus' resurrection changes the future and the shape of humanity, creation, the whole cosmos.

He eats, drinks and walks with his disciples revealing to them a beautiful future that they are invited to share in. We too are invited to share in. We too are invited to have resurrection bodies.

When all we knew before was an endless cycle of birth and death, of newness and decay, the resurrection ushers in new possibilities where everything is different. A future is given where decay and death, pain and suffering are vanquished and eradicated forever. A future is seen in the Risen Jesus where the endless cycle of birth and death, newness and decay is buried in the grave, and a new way is presented before us, and we are invited to share in it.

Resurrection means that one day you too can be raised. That death will no longer have the final word. Where decay and pain can no longer leave you hopeless.

Resurrection means that today has significance. That what you do with today matters. Because today has been impacted by the resurrection.

That body you are in right now as you read this is significant for today. Who you are in your heart, mind, spirit and body is significant for today. What you do with yourself today matters. Will you live today seeking to share resurrection life? Because resurrection says that who you are today, your body, mind, heart and spirit, will somehow be transformed, renewed and redeemed in God's new world.

So today we can work towards transforming, renewing and redeeming the world in which we live, not because we have the ability to do such things, but because by God's Spirit and the resurrection of Jesus something new is upon us.

The resurrection matters for you today because it speaks into your every tomorrow.

So how will we respond today?

A Free Person

2011-05-24T12:15:00.001+01:00

Freedom can often be seen as something individualistic. So my freedom is about me doing whatever I want to do.

As long as I am not hurting anyone else then what does it matter if I choose this way of living my life?

Even if others are offended or hurt by what I do, so what? My life is my own to do with as I please.

Now I'm sure I am painting a caricature here of how people understand freedom, but if we are all honest, there are many times we have felt like this in the depths of our heart. A desire to say 'screw the world, I'm living for me now.'

An understanding of our own freedom can often be seen in the way interact with each other. So I will make a decision about my friendships and relationships based on what I want to do and what I want out of it. We believe it is freedom to be in control of my own future and my own destiny.

Morpheus: Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: Because I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.

But what if true freedom was all about surrendering your life and control to another?

So freedom is not an object or a substance or something individualistic. Rather it is a relationship between persons.

Freedom is about a giving of yourself to another, about being free for the other, about what happens to you through the other.

Freedom is about self-giving, self-sacrificing love. Laying down your life for the other. Laying down all that you want in order that others may receive what they need. We see this most powerfully at the Cross of Jesus.

Rather than clinging onto your life in some self-preservation way, thus causing you to become a slave to fear of death, you surrender your life to God and discover freedom in relationship with Him.

We are invited into this eternal dance with God.

You are free when you give yourself in love to another in relationship. Because we fully become who we are by being in relationship with another. We were created to be in relationship. We discover our true selves when we discover lives beyond ourselves.

Laying down all that you want in order that others may receive what they need.

Freedom then is not about doing whatever you want to do, it is not about selfish ambition and success, but about living a life that sees the beauty of the other, the pain and suffering of the other, and desiring to live in relationship with the other, with a desire to share and relieve, give and hope, persevere and love.

Laying down all that you want in order that others may receive what they need.

Freedom is about giving of yourself fully to God and to others, that you might share in relationship with God and help others flourish in their lives today.

What Would a Free Man Do?

2011-05-23T17:33:00.001+01:00

I have been mulling over the concept of freedom. What is freedom? How do we live in freedom with free lives?

What would a free man do?

Is freedom limited because of our morality. In other words, can our choices be limited to such a degree that we are not free to really choose?

Is freedom about doing whatever I want to do with no rules?

Have you ever heard someone say on a stag night, 'This is your last night of freedom?' So committing yourself into a marriage is seen as a removal of freedom. You're no longer able to do whatever you want to do because you have someone else to think about, someone else you are committed to.

My own story is one of a life where I did whatever I wanted to do. I would sleep around, be drunk most days and use my money any way I felt I wanted to.
I did whatever I wanted and believed I was truly free.

Yet the truth is that I wasn't free and didn't feel free.

My desire's controlled me. So everyday was a battle and a desperation to satisfy my desires. The Beast raged and I needed to do something in order for it to be satisfied.

The reality is that the more I lived doing whatever I wanted to do, the more of a slave to my desires I became, whereby they controlled me.

So freedom isn't really about doing whatever we want to do. What we want ends up wanting and controlling us.

So maybe freedom is really about something else.

Maybe freedom is best understood in another way.

Maybe we need to think again about the way we think, handle and live in freedom. How would someone live a free life?

I'll pick this up tomorrow.

Rapture Day

2011-05-21T10:35:00.003+01:00

Etched onto His Skin

2011-05-20T11:20:00.000+01:00

Continuing on the theme of relationships, I have just read my bro's blog reflecting on how our mum and dad have been married for 40 years this month.

He writes:

'They've loved each other, hated each other, been indifferent to each other, tolerated each other...They've been through bankruptcy, wealth, laughter, sadness, anger, joy, confusion. They've tried to have children and failed, but managed to adopt four children. They have had their house taken away...I will always be amazed as to how mum and dad have survived as a couple...It's gritty, real and rather un-inspiring for the likes of us romantics.

It's grounded and rock-like though. It's stable and unflinching. It's not the relationship I'd ever want but by god, I admire the hell they've gone through.

Their history is etched on their skin and I love them for it.'

Go here to read the whole post.

It unpacks a little bit more of our story as a family.

I love this idea of history being 'etched on their skin'. What a beautiful phrase.

Here is my dad

My dad is an oysterfisherman. He is the seventh generation. His trade, his life is etched on his skin.

Here are my girls:

The beauty, pain, joy and mystery of life lay before them. I wonder how life will etch onto their skin?

The Crucified Hands of God:

Etched onto the skin of God is the history of humanity. The pain of sin and death. The hope of healing and new life. Our history forever invited into the today of God. Our life beckoned into the hands of the Crucified God.

Our lives, our joys, our pain, our success, our failure, our hopes, our disappointments, our love, all welcomed by God to be etched onto His skin.

Etched onto the skin of the Crucified God.

Love and Relationships

2011-05-19T16:58:00.000+01:00

How much do you really love the people around you?

Are you only looking to your own interests?

Or do you deeply care about the people you are in relationship with?

Do you speak, interact and engage with people because you want something out of the relationship?

Or are you deeply concerned that they might flourish as a human?

Is your priority a desire to love that person?

Or do you have hidden motives and a secret agenda?

Do you only get in touch with someone because you want them to do something for you?

Or do you meet with someone because you want to share life with them?

Are there conditions on your relationships?

Or is your relationship unconditional love?

Do you think God's love is conditional with how you live your life?

Or do you realise that God simply loves you?

Do you think Jesus is only interested in you because he wants to rescue you?

Or do you realise that he is interested in you because it is you?

Have you ever questioned your attitude to love and relationships?

Rob Bell Debate

2011-05-19T09:35:00.001+01:00

Really good video on Premier.tv with Rob Bell debating with Adrian Warnock about his new book 'Love Wins'.

I think Rob Bell comes across really well in this interview and speaks with great clarity, real generosity and good humour. Really like the guy.

Below is a short excerpt from the interview. Go to this link to watch the full interview. You will enjoy it.

A couple of points I want to make are:

Adrian Warnock is not comfortable with mystery or leaving questions unanswered or asking questions of questions.

In the interview it becomes clear that there are different ways of reading the Bible. It seems that Adrian thinks that his way is the 'right' way, rather than allowing different ways of reading and understanding to sit together.

Rob asks if Adrian believes that if a 17 year old who had rejected Jesus died, would he in 17 million years time still be continually punished by god in hell. Adrian said yes.
Rob said that he did not believe God was like this and would do this. And I agree with Rob. What kind of God would be like that? What kind of God would treat those He has created in love like that? I'm not comfortable with where Adrian is coming from. Bell's book is by no means perfect and has problems, but I'm more comfortable with more of where he is coming from.

Have a watch and enjoy!

Adultery

2011-05-18T14:35:00.000+01:00

I was listening to Radio Five this morning and they were doing a phone in on adultery. People were ringing in sharing their own experiences of what had happened to them and the effect it had been on their lives.

I heard people share how much pain they were experiencing because they had recently found out their partner had been cheating on them.

I heard adults share of how when they were children they had discovered one of their parents was having an affair and how it had destroyed their family.

People were clearly sharing pain and emotions that were hard to deal with.

Trust had been destroyed.

I was reading Jesus' words on adultery when he says, 'You have heard that it was said 'Do not commit adultery.' But I say to you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'

First thing that strikes me is that he is talking to men. The society in which Jesus lived was male dominated and woman had no voice. Men took advantage of their dominance and woman were treated unjustly and unfairly. Here Jesus is challenging men in their attitude and behaviour towards woman. He is challenging them in their belief that woman are objects that can be used and abused. He is calling men to take seriously the fact woman and men are equals created equally in God's image.

I believe also that Jesus' teaching on adultery applies to both men and woman and that today it is hugely relevant.

I have heard the phrase many many times 'It's ok to window shop.' In other words, you can look at someone lustfully and it does not matter.

I have heard people say that if both partners are happy to have an open relationship then it doesn't matter if you sleep around whilst still having a relationship.

Society is not very keen when someone makes a statement about how people should live in relationship, sex, lust etc, but I do think society has lost the plot with how people can flourish as human beings in healthy relationships with healthy attitudes to others.

I think Jesus speaks so strongly about lust because he understands how one thing leads to another. A lustful desire can escalate into a lustful action. But I also think he is concerned about how one human is viewing another human.

Lust makes someone an object. They are dehumanised. They are no longer viewed as an equal created in Gods image. And this is wrong and damaging to all involved.

Adultery makes the one being cheated on an object. It dehumanises them. They are no longer an equal, an image bearer of God, but a person who is lied to, deceived and cast off.

We live in a time when relationships are confused and notions of what love is has been distorted. The model Jesus gives us is that others come first, that laying down your life for another is the best, that love is not selfish, that putting the needs of someone ahead of your own is truly love.

True love for another is a desire to honour them in every single way. To honour them in our words, to honour them in our actions, and to honour them in our heart and mind so that they come first and are treated in our thinking as a beautiful, stunning bearer of the image of God.

I Believe...

2011-05-17T11:31:00.000+01:00

I believe life is beautiful.

I believe life is ugly.

I believe the truth is out there.

I believe the truth is nowhere.

I believe people are amazing.

I believe people are shocking.

I believe success is a word that should be purged from the Church.

I believe vulnerability is the Way of Jesus followers.

I believe 'vision' makes people blind.

I believe 'goals' make people unloving and unlovely.

I believe God is 'for' you.

I believe God is angry at injustice and oppression.

I believe God hurts when you hurt.

I believe God laughs.

I believe God loves you.

I believe that God believes in you.

I believe the world is stunning.

I believe the world is stunningly painful.

I believe that the dawn is coming.

I believe that heaven will come to earth.

I believe that God will wipe every tear from our eyes.

I believe the Bible is incredible.

I believe the Bible is difficult.

I believe the Bible is a narrative.

I believe the Bible is on a journey.

I believe the Bible is not God.

I believe the Bible witnesses to God.

I believe the Bible is not a rule book for life.

I believe Jesus is our model for life.

I believe punishment is to restore.

I believe justice is to heal.

I believe in Jesus.

I believe Jesus died for all people on the cross.

I believe Jesus died to eradicate sin.

I believe Jesus died to kill death.

I believe Jesus died to heal the whole cosmos.

I believe Jesus died and was buried in a tomb.

I believe Jesus bodily rose again from the dead.

I believe Jesus will return again.

I believe many many more things than this about Jesus.

I believe many things that I can't think of right now.

I believe in you.

I believe that I sometimes have an ulterior motive in getting to know you.

I believe that I am sorry for that.

I believe that life is precious.

I believe that you are precious.

I believe that sometimes I don't know what to believe.

I believe in love.

I believe that love is a verb.

I believe in my wife.

I believe in my daughters.

I believe that my life is devoted to serving God.

I believe that serving God is great.

I believe that serving God is hard.

I believe in Jesus.

I believe...

Rich and Poor

2011-05-11T16:49:00.000+01:00

20% of the worlds population account for 86% of global consumption.

The income gap between the the fifth of the world's population living in the richest countries and the fifth in the poorest is 74 to 1 in 1998.

The three richest people on the planet have assets that exceed the combined gross national product of the forty-eight least developed countries.

The income of the richest 1% adds up to that if the poorest 57%.

Among the 4.6 billion people in developing countries, three fifths lackbasic sanitation, one third have no safe drinking water and 11 million children under the age of five die every year from malnutrition or easily preventable diseases.

Europe and America receive in debt repayments between $20 and $40 billion more than what is given out in 'aid' (so called aid because it is usually a commercial loan given with political strings attached).

Who is your neighbour?

What Kind of Leader?

2011-05-11T09:40:00.000+01:00

A Servant Leader or a Leader Man...

Servant Leader: Has something to say
LeaderMan: Wants a platform on which to say something

LeaderMan: Wants you to know he's a Leader
Servant Leader: You're not sure he knows he's a leader

LeaderMan: Loves the idea of the Gospel, and the idea of The Church
Servant Leader: Loves God and the actual individual people God brings across his path

LeaderMan: Helps you find where God is leading you in his organization
Servant Leader: Helps you find where God is leading you

LeaderMan: Gets together with you to talk about his vision
Servant Leader: Just gets together with you

LeaderMan: Wants the right people on the bus
Servant Leader: Wants to find the right bus for you, and sit next to you on it

LeaderMan: Invests time in you, if you are "key people"
Servant Leader: Wastes time with you

LeaderMan: Gives you things to do
Servant Leader: Gives you freedom

This came from This Is My Body via Brant Hanson.

I really like it.

Think I would want to add:

LeaderMan: How many people come to your church
Servant Leader: How deep are the relationships you've got in your church

Servant Leader: Wants to walk with you in the pain
LeaderMan: Wants to fix you

I'm sure the list could go on and on...

Anyway

2011-05-10T09:00:00.001+01:00

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered :
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives:
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies:
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
Be honest and frank anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous:
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow:
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough:
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God:
It was never between you and them anyway.

Mother Teresa

Is The Bible Relevant?

2011-05-09T11:59:00.000+01:00

The was a good discussion on BBC 1 yesterday on whether the Bible is still relevant today.

Go here to see The Big Questions and watch the debate.

I thought there were some really good voices on the programme who gave solid and wise answers as well as displaying a great understanding of how to read the Bible well.

Richard Dawkins was on the show and once again showed a distinct lack of understanding when dealing with people who are not fundamentalists.

Adrian Thatcher spoke very well (he is the author of The Savage Text) about how Christians worship God not the Bible. Our goal is to witness to the Person of the book, not to the book itself.

Krish Kandiah from the Evangelical Alliance was also in the audience. He seemed to struggle to be honest.

Dr Michael Nazir-Ali was on the panel too.

I really enjoyed it and it is well worth a watch if you have a spare hour.

Police, Camera, Action

2011-05-05T12:50:00.000+01:00

Being a Terrorist

2011-05-04T09:58:00.000+01:00

What does 'terrorism' even mean?

The word is thrown around all the time.

'The war on terror!' - What does that even mean?

People have become more fearful since the war on terror began.

With the demise of Osama Bin Laden there has been a frenzy of blogging, media coverage and conversations.

But I still have no idea what is meant by the word terrorism.

I would like to see the nations turned upside down.

I would like to see people shaken out of their numbness to the suffering and injustice all around.

I would like to see people upset by the suffering and injustice.

I would like people to feel despair at the reality of the situation.

I would like to see hope rise like the dawn in people's hearts as they see that the Redeemer lives.

I think there are times it is right to oppose.

I think it is right to want another Kingdom than the kingdoms of this world.

Does that make me a terrorist?

Amazing Love

2011-05-03T12:04:00.000+01:00

I claw at the darkness, seeking an end to the pain
I dig deeper and deeper certain of an escape.
The darkness seems to surround me
I can't remember what light even looks like now.

I convince myself that an escape from the darkness lies in digging deeper
So I continue to delve sure of an end or even a beginning.

I am like a man clawing the ground hoping for deliverance
He splinters his nails and breaks his fingers longing for escape.
The wounds I carry cannot so easily be healed.

And so I find myself in the bottom of the pit
My energy has gone
My hope has disappeared like the light that I have tunnelled away from.

Yet beyond the limits of my own senses
Beyond the darkness that consumes me
Someone comes to rescue me from this pit of despair.

Amazing Love!
How can this be?

I am lifted out slowly into the dawn of a new day.
My Rescuer is careful not to blind me with the flood of Light.

The darkness melts at the warmth of His love
Yet I see that He carries scars, a sign that He Himself knows the darkness.
A sign that He knows me with the scars that I carry.

He calls me to live a new way
To strive to shine like a star rather than bury myself in the darkness.
To love God
To love others

To live like He has lived
To love like He has loved
To die like He has died

Amazing Love!
How can this be?
That Jesus has died and rescued me?

And so I join Him on the journey to the Promised Land.
Still bearing the scars of my pain
Yet with every step I find nourishment and healing.

I see in the distance hope shining like the Morning Star
I recognise that a new Dawn beckons.

And I see that Today is a good day.
For Today the journey matters.
Today will make a difference.

Today is why He died.
Tomorrow is why He lives.

Amazing Love!

The System Vs The Kingdom

2011-05-02T12:01:00.001+01:00

Contemporary Worship

2011-05-01T09:00:00.001+01:00

Jesus Wept

2011-04-30T09:00:00.001+01:00

Live stream for the Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T09:00:00.001+01:00

Are we of all people most to be pitied?

2011-04-28T12:40:00.002+01:00

'And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.' 1 Corinthians 15:14-18

Easter was a good time for me. It was nice and quiet, relaxing with family and friends and enjoying the sunshine.

Over the time of Easter I have heard loads of different things being said about Jesus and the significance of Easter.

I have heard people speak passionately about Jesus' death and resurrection and how world changing an event it really was.

I have heard people speak about it in very 'spiritual' ways, sharing how they do not believe in the reality of the Easter story, but view it in terms of a parable or message that says we can have hope for tomorrow.

I have heard some share how while they believe in the person of Jesus they do not believe he died, but rather that he grew to be an old man.

Others say he never died and went up to heaven.

I have heard some say they do not believe in any of it at all and that it is one big story, made up and of no use to us in the 21st Century.

As I have reflected on all of this, I was struck by the passage in the Bible that I have quoted at the top.

If Jesus did not die and if Jesus was not raised from the dead, then we are to be pitied more than anyone.

If Jesus was not raised form the dead, then I might as well stop everything that I am doing, because it would all be one big con, and what I believe is one big joke.

If Jesus was not resurrected then out of all people Christians are to be most miserable. Our faith is worthless. Everything we believe is a waste of time and all that we are doing is a waste of time.

If Jesus was not raised from the dead that all that we say about God is a lie.

It's not that Christians believe that Jesus was some kind of ghost or spirit when he came back to life. We don't believe he was resuscitated like someone who's dead but then who's heart starts beating again. We don't believe that he left his old body in the grave and was given a new and separate one. No, the resurrection of Jesus is the belief that he died on the cross, was buried in the grave, but then was raised from the dead, his body TRANSFORMED into one that will never die or wear out. It was like this body, yet somehow different. He sat with his disciples after his resurrection and ate with them. He still bore the wounds of the crucifixion and continues to bare them in all eternity, but he is transformed.

It is the belief that Jesus is alive, and because he lives we will live and be transformed, our bodies becoming something better, becoming something they have never been, everything about us, mind, body, soul, spirit being transformed and perfected. Because Jesus lives, creation will one day become something it has never been; creation will one day be healed. It is the belief that sin and its destruction, sin and its destruction of our relationship with God, sin and its bringing of death has all been dealt with by Jesus through his death and resurrection.

But if Jesus is not alive then we are screwed.

If Jesus is not alive then faith is a waste of time.

And my identity, who I am and the very essence of why I live is all nonsense and pointless if Jesus is not alive.

Quite a sobering thought...

A Dark Day

2011-04-22T09:00:00.000+01:00

Then they all took Jesus to Pilate and began to bring up charges against him. They said, "We found this man undermining our law and order, forbidding taxes to be paid to Caesar, setting himself up as Messiah-King."
Pilate asked him, "Is this true that you're 'King of the Jews'?"

"Those are your words, not mine," Jesus replied.

Pilate told the high priests and the accompanying crowd, "I find nothing wrong here. He seems harmless enough to me."

But they were vehement. "He's stirring up unrest among the people with his teaching, disturbing the peace everywhere, starting in Galilee and now all through Judea. He's a dangerous man, endangering the peace."

When Pilate heard that, he asked, "So, he's a Galilean?" Realizing that he properly came under Herod's jurisdiction, he passed the buck to Herod, who just happened to be in Jerusalem for a few days.

Herod was delighted when Jesus showed up. He had wanted for a long time to see him, he'd heard so much about him. He hoped to see him do something spectacular. He peppered him with questions. Jesus didn't answer—not one word. But the high priests and religion scholars were right there, saying their piece, strident and shrill in their accusations.

Mightily offended, Herod turned on Jesus. His soldiers joined in, taunting and jeering. Then they dressed him up in an elaborate king costume and sent him back to Pilate. That day Herod and Pilate became thick as thieves. Always before they had kept their distance.

Then Pilate called in the high priests, rulers, and the others and said, "You brought this man to me as a disturber of the peace. I examined him in front of all of you and found there was nothing to your charge. And neither did Herod, for he has sent him back here with a clean bill of health. It's clear that he's done nothing wrong, let alone anything deserving death. I'm going to warn him to watch his step and let him go."

At that, the crowd went wild: "Kill him! Give us Barabbas!" (Barabbas had been thrown in prison for starting a riot in the city and for murder.) Pilate still wanted to let Jesus go, and so spoke out again.

But they kept shouting back, "Crucify! Crucify him!"

He tried a third time. "But for what crime? I've found nothing in him deserving death. I'm going to warn him to watch his step and let him go."

But they kept at it, a shouting mob, demanding that he be crucified. And finally they shouted him down. Pilate caved in and gave them what they wanted. He released the man thrown in prison for rioting and murder, and gave them Jesus to do whatever they wanted.

As they led him off, they made Simon, a man from Cyrene who happened to be coming in from the countryside, carry the cross behind Jesus. A huge crowd of people followed, along with women weeping and carrying on. At one point Jesus turned to the women and said, "Daughters of Jerusalem, don't cry for me. Cry for yourselves and for your children. The time is coming when they'll say, 'Lucky the women who never conceived! Lucky the wombs that never gave birth! Lucky the breasts that never gave milk!' Then they'll start calling to the mountains, 'Fall down on us!' calling to the hills, 'Cover us up!' If people do these things to a live, green tree, can you imagine what they'll do with deadwood?"
Two others, both criminals, were taken along with him for execution.

When they got to the place called Skull Hill, they crucified him, along with the criminals, one on his right, the other on his left.

Jesus prayed, "Father, forgive them; they don't know what they're doing."

Dividing up his clothes, they threw dice for them. The people stood there staring at Jesus, and the ringleaders made faces, taunting, "He saved others. Let's see him save himself! The Messiah of God—ha! The Chosen—ha!"

The soldiers also came up and poked fun at him, making a game of it. They toasted him with sour wine: "So you're King of the Jews! Save yourself!"

Printed over him was a sign: this is the king of the jews.

One of the criminals hanging alongside cursed him: "Some Messiah you are! Save yourself! Save us!"

But the other one made him shut up: "Have you no fear of God? You're getting the same as him. We deserve this, but not him—he did nothing to deserve this."

Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you enter your kingdom."

He said, "Don't worry, I will. Today you will join me in paradise."

By now it was noon. The whole earth became dark, the darkness lasting three hours—a total blackout. The Temple curtain split right down the middle. Jesus called loudly, "Father, I place my life in your hands!" Then he breathed his last.

When the captain there saw what happened, he honored God: "This man was innocent! A good man, and innocent!"

All who had come around as spectators to watch the show, when they saw what actually happened, were overcome with grief and headed home. Those who knew Jesus well, along with the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a respectful distance and kept vigil.

There was a man by the name of Joseph, a member of the Jewish High Council, a man of good heart and good character. He had not gone along with the plans and actions of the council. His hometown was the Jewish village of Arimathea. He lived in alert expectation of the kingdom of God. He went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Taking him down, he wrapped him in a linen shroud and placed him in a tomb chiseled into the rock, a tomb never yet used. It was the day before Sabbath, the Sabbath just about to begin.

The women who had been companions of Jesus from Galilee followed along. They saw the tomb where Jesus' body was placed. Then they went back to prepare burial spices and perfumes. They rested quietly on the Sabbath, as commanded.

A Dark Night

2011-04-21T13:38:00.001+01:00

Leaving there, he went, as he so often did, to Mount Olives. The disciples followed him. When they arrived at the place, he said, "Pray that you don't give in to temptation."

He pulled away from them about a stone's throw, knelt down, and prayed, "Father, remove this cup from me. But please, not what I want. What do you want?" At once an angel from heaven was at his side, strengthening him. He prayed on all the harder. Sweat, wrung from him like drops of blood, poured off his face.

He got up from prayer, went back to the disciples and found them asleep, drugged by grief. He said, "What business do you have sleeping? Get up. Pray so you won't give in to temptation."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than a crowd showed up, Judas, the one from the Twelve, in the lead. He came right up to Jesus to kiss him. Jesus said, "Judas, you would betray the Son of Man with a kiss?"

When those with him saw what was happening, they said, "Master, shall we fight?" One of them took a swing at the Chief Priest's servant and cut off his right ear.

Jesus said, "Let them be. Even in this." Then, touching the servant's ear, he healed him.

Jesus spoke to those who had come—high priests, Temple police, religion leaders: "What is this, jumping me with swords and clubs as if I were a dangerous criminal? Day after day I've been with you in the Temple and you've not so much as lifted a hand against me. But do it your way—it's a dark night, a dark hour."

Arresting Jesus, they marched him off and took him into the house of the Chief Priest. Peter followed, but at a safe distance. In the middle of the courtyard some people had started a fire and were sitting around it, trying to keep warm. One of the serving maids sitting at the fire noticed him, then took a second look and said, "This man was with him!"
He denied it, "Woman, I don't even know him."

A short time later, someone else noticed him and said, "You're one of them."

But Peter denied it: "Man, I am not."

About an hour later, someone else spoke up, really adamant: "He's got to have been with him! He's got 'Galilean' written all over him."

Peter said, "Man, I don't know what you're talking about." At that very moment, the last word hardly off his lips, a rooster crowed. Just then, the Master turned and looked at Peter. Peter remembered what the Master had said to him: "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." He went out and cried and cried and cried.

The men in charge of Jesus began poking fun at him, slapping him around. They put a blindfold on him and taunted, "Who hit you that time?" They were having a grand time with him.

Identity

2011-04-20T18:23:00.001+01:00

My twin bro has been posting on identity. Go here to read more on this.

He mentions some questions he asks of himself in order to understand his own identity. One of those questions is 'What do you do?'

I find this question really tough to answer.

My job is a Baptist Minister. I'm ordained as a Rev and am now church planting. People have always said that I'm a evangelist and so for a few years now that is what I have done.

But the more I think about the harder I find it to define what I do.

I'm a committed follower of Jesus. I want to live my life in a way that shows people that I am sold out for Jesus. I want to live like Him.

But I see this as a whole life thing. So every moment of every day should be a desire for this. My role is to introduce people to the love and grace of God. I'm here to bring God's love and Kingdom through my words and actions. I am called to love people unconditionally as God loves every one of us unconditionally. I am called to be an instrument of love and grace.

So when does my job stop and start? When do I go from Joe to Rev?

I'm not sure there is a distinction.

So I love because I love because I love. I don't love at certain times in certain situations.

The lines become blurred and life becomes messy between when I'm at work and when I'm not. But surely love is never 'work'? Surely it should never be like that?

What do I do? More like, who am I?

Forgiveness

2011-04-19T14:17:00.001+01:00

As we gather pace towards the Cross I have been reflecting on forgiveness.

Jesus talks very strongly about the need to forgive others.

He calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven by God.

He calls us to forgive even when that someone has continually hurt us.

Forgiveness is tough.

Yet as we journey with Jesus towards the Cross - a place of reconciliation, healing, grace and love, a place of brutality in the consequences of sin, a place of weeping and suffering, a place were things are finished with - I wonder if we are aware of people we need to forgive?

Is forgiveness something we need to give to another this Easter time?

Are we bitter with hurt because of the pain someone else has caused us?

Do we need to be released from that bitterness and pain by offering forgiveness?

That is really easy to say right? But not so easy to do. Maybe not even something we want to do. But forgiveness actually releases us to be the people we were meant to be. With forgiveness there is healing and freedom. And God's peace will broad over you like His Spirit did at the dawn of creation.

This is where we need God to help us, his strength to enable us to forgive.

There are circumstances so severe that forgiveness can seem impossible. I wonder of the God of the impossible could help forgiveness flow this Easter time?

Salvation and Belief

2011-04-18T12:19:00.000+01:00

Last Monday I had a 'Crash' evening whereby I invited a few different people to come round my home for a meal. As we eat someone shares for 10 minutes about a particular subject and then we discuss throughout the evening what that person has shared and see where the conversations take us.

On Monday John Colwell came and spoke. He was one of my tutors at college and is now Pastor at Budleigh Salterton Baptist. He spoke about the Cross of Jesus.

It was a great evening of discussion, laughter and friendships.

We discussed the meaning of salvation and being 'saved'. John shared how salvation is never about what we do, it is always about what God does, and that is why it is grace.

So salvation is not about my faith or what I believe. If we were saved based on what we believe then it would be down to us. Then it would be about what we have done. Then it would no longer be grace.

Salvation then is rather not what we opt 'into' but about what we don't opt 'out' of.

Jesus' death was for all people. Jesus has made room for all people to experience salvation and the grace of God. So all people have the opportunity to know the love, grace and salvation of God. This is something God has done and only God could do.

But we can opt out of this gift of love, life and relationship with God. We can say 'no thanks' to the gift and refuse God's grace.

We can't do anything to save ourselves, but we can refuse the gift of salvation that God has offered to us.

If I was saved because of what I believed then I would be in trouble. We would all be in trouble if salvation was about what we believed.

John then shared this story:

'I have wrestled with a form of chronic depression throughout adult life...During one sustained bout of acute depression two very dear friends invited me and my wife to stay with them until I could cope again with everyday life (without their generosity I would probably have needed to spend time in hospital). Returning from an evening service of communion, these friends, together with my wife, determined that I too should share in communion. They produced bread and (very excellent) wine, and we celebrated while squatting around their coffee table. Any who have any experience of serious depressive illness will understand that, at the time, I was entirely without any form of religious feeling - indeed it was a struggle to believe at all. Yet as we sat around that table I realised, perhaps truly for the first time, that the bread and wine, and the body and blood of Christ that the bread and wine re-presented, were there on the table for me whether I 'felt' anything - or even 'believed' anything - or not. In the absence of any 'feeling' or faith, I recognised the significance of grace that evening more deeply and truly than ever before.'