Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Say Something (I'm Giving Up On You)

Say something, I'm giving up on you

How often have you prayed and felt as though your prayers were lost in a vacuum of insignificance?

The cries in the night swallowed by the deafening silence.

The pleas to God to speak, to act, to respond and yet still you lie there in the darkness that melts into the dark night of your soul.

I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you

Your life was changed, all that you were transformed in the pursuit of God, His Life, His Ways. You gave your life to follow and yet now you feel abandoned, alone, empty.

Say something, I'm giving up on you

'Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?'


And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

Maybe I was wrong? Maybe I rushed into this life of faith?

And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

So here in this place of silence, joining in with the atheistic cry of Jesus, perhaps I am encountering God. Perhaps the sense of felt abandonment might strip me of my desire for meaning and the worship of idols and draw me closer to the God of life and love, the God who will not and cannot be created in our own image.

Perhaps, as I crawl in the desert of despair I might learn to love like the One who is the incarnation of Love.

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And yet my heart aches at the silence.  Why won't you speak?

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Is it me?

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye

So maybe in my love for You I have to say goodbye. Some are able to live with the silence, some are able to encounter your Life and Light through the darkness, but I fear I cannot.

Darkness is my closest friend when what I needed was to know you in your infinite love.

Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere, I would have followed you
Oh say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something

"This is my body broken for you, my blood shed for you."

So we take this bread, this cup and we eat and drink the very presence of God. The story of Jesus becomes our story and in the midst of our desolation and despair, our atheism and angst, our doubt and uncertainty God pours His love into our hearts. And even though the silence continues to deafen us we find in our life together a sense of hope that the dawn is on its way, that God has spoken assuring us, "I am with you."

So we eat this bread, we drink this cup trusting that our prayer, 'say something, I'm giving up on you' has been answered through the eternal words of Jesus, "It is finished!"

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