Friday, 20 January 2012


I have had a couple of very insightful conversations today with people about death.

I think it is clear that we have no idea what to do with death.

Stanley Hauerwas uses the expression that we are 'death-deniers' here in the West.  If we look at our politics, healthcare, education and lifestyle, death is a hidden and unspoken thing.  Hauerwas says that we think we are going to get out of life alive.  But we won't.  We will die one day.

I remember going to a funeral with Grace and the person sitting next to me said to someone else that funerals were not for children.

We hide death from our children because we think it is bad for them to know about it.  But they need to know, because death is all around us and one day they will see it for themselves.  They need to be aware, ask questions and hear the TRUTH.  Our attitude about death and children shows our inability to know how to handle death in out culture and our inability to know how to raise children in our culture.

Maybe it is because we are such consumers and we want other people to do everything for us; we want other people to sort out the death around us so we don't have to get our hands dirty.

Maybe our consumer attitude means that we want everything to be new and sparkling, and we know that death is a game changer, that nothing will be new and sparkling when our loved ones die, so we hide from it and pretend it will never happen.  We keep people alive, trying to delay the inevitable, hoping that our loved ones will be made all new.

Death hurts, is painful and hard, but hiding it away is destroying us as a society.

Things need to change...

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