I do. He has totally transformed my life, and I can never truly express how much I love him.
I wish I devoted my life to him more. I wish I was as committed to him as he is to me. What a beautiful thing grace is! How he never gives up on me. He will often correct me and deal with me when I'm getting it wrong, because that is him not giving up on me.
Sometimes I will get flashbacks to my past. I will remember a night out I had where I drank copious amounts of vodka and then spoke and acted in ways which now make me shudder. I can remember how I felt the next day. Hungover and nervous. Then I would have a drink and those feelings would start to disappear.
Then Jesus got hold of me. He changed my life.
It wasn't like he was the constant high that I had always been looking for. It is so much more than that.
I am a brand new person! I have changed so much. It is all his work in my life. He is moulding me into the person he wants me to be. He is changing me.
And its not just so I can go to heaven, its so heaven can come to earth.
I still suffer, and hurt.
I still struggle with various things.
But day by day God is changing me and making me more like Jesus.
I'm becoming a better person, not because I live a holier than thou life, but because Jesus is transforming me.
I'm beginning to understand what a full and abundant life is.
It has nothing to do with what I own or how much money I have.
It is to do with how much I love God and love other people. And it is increasing day by day because of God pouring his love into my life.
I want to love God with all that I am.
You know what? I really do love Jesus.